TV Month 2016 – The Series Primer.

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TV MONTH 2016 may not officially begin until Monday, but today is a comprehensive look back on nearly every TV-related essay, list and countdown in CDP history. Consider it a table setter. A palette cleanser. An appetite…whetter?

Gross.

Anyway, here we go. There are nearly 100 links here; plenty to keep you occupied until May 2:

FALL TV PREVIEW.
2005-2006 Preview. (Lost! Malcolm in the Middle! Arrested Development!)
2006-2007 Preview. (King of the Hill! House MD! The Office!)
2007-2008 Preview. (Friday Night Lights! 30 Rock! Heroes!)
2008-2009 Preview. (24! My Name is Earl! Dollhouse!)
2009-2010 Preview. (Parks and Recreation! Modern Family! The Middle!)
2010-2011 Preview. (Community! Bob’s Burgers! Louie!)
2011-2012 Preview. (Breaking Bad! The Walking Dead! Adventure Time!)
2013-2014 Preview. (The Goldbergs! Agents of SHIELD! Brooklyn Nine-Nine!)
2014-2015 Preview. (Gotham! Once Upon a Time! The Flash!)
2015-2016 Preview. (Better Call Saul! The Muppets! Fear The Walking Dead!)

TV 25 TOURNAMENT (Greatest TV Show of the Last 25 Years).
Intro
Tournament Selection
Round 1 Recap (Comedy)
Round 1 Recap (Drama)
Round 2 Recap

Semifinals
Finals

NUCLEAR NIELSEN FAMILY.

THE 1990’S.
Top TV Shows Of The 90’s (30-21)
Top TV Shows Of The 90’s (20-16)
Top TV Shows Of The 90’s (15-11)
Top TV Shows Of The 90’s (10-6)
Top TV Shows Of The 90’s (5-1)

2000-2010.
Top 10 TV Shows Of The Decade (10-6)
Top 10 TV Shows Of The Decade (5-1)
Top 10 TV Shows Of 2010

DECADE IN REVIEW (2000-2009).
‘A Lifetime Of TV Shows’ List
Best ‘Instantly Canceled’ TV Shows Of The Decade
Analysis Of The Most Popular TV Shows Of The Decade
Worst TV Shows Of The Decade

ANALYSIS.
Canceling The Simpsons?
7 Habits Of Highly Effective TV Viewers.
The LaCrosse Incident.

TV WEEK (2008).
Top 20 TV Shows Of All-Time (20-11)
Top 20 TV Shows Of All-Time (10-1)

THE SIMPSONS.
Top 100 Episodes (Honorable Mention)
Top 100 Episodes (100-91)
Top 100 Episodes (90-81)
Top 100 Episodes (80-71)
Top 100 Episodes (70-61)
Top 100 Episodes (60-51)
Top 100 Episodes (50-41)
Top 100 Episodes (40-31)
Top 100 Episodes (30-21)
Top 100 Episodes (20-11)

FULLER HOUSE.

THE WALKING DEAD.
LOST.
Season 3 PreviewSeason 3 – Episode 1 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 2 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 3 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 4 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 5 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 6 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 7 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 8 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 9 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 10 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 11 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 12 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 13 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 14 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 15 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 16 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 17 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 18 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 19 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 20 Recap
Season 3 – Episode 21 Recap
Season 3 – Finale Edition 1
Season 3 – Finale Edition 2
Season 3 – Finale Edition 3
Season 3 – Episode 22/23 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 1 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 2 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 3 Pop Crunch Recap
Season 4 – Episode 4 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 4 Pop Crunch Recap
Season 4 – Episode 5 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 6 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 7 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 9 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 10 Recap
Season 4 – Episode 12 Recap
Season 4 – Finale Edition 1
Season 4 – Finale Edition 2
Season 4 – Finale Edition 3
Season 5 – Episode 1/2.
Season 5 – Episode 4.
Season 5 – Episode 5.
Season 5 – Episode 6.
Season 5 – Episode 7.
Season 5 – Episode 9.
Season 5 – Episode 10.
Season 5 – Episode 11.
Season 5 – Episode 12. 
Season 5 – Episode 13.
Season 5 – Episode 14.
Season 5 – Episode 15.
Season 5 – Episode 16/17.
Season 6 – Episode 1/2.
Season 6 – Episode 3. 
Season 6 – Episode 4.
Season 6 – Episode 5. 
Season 6 – Episode 6.
Season 6 – Episode 7.
Season 6 – Episode 8.
Season 6 – Episode 9.
Season 6 – Episode 10.
Season 6 – Episode 11.
Season 6 – Episode 12.
Season 6 – Episode 13.
Season 6 – Episode 14.
Season 6 – Episode 15.
Season 6 – Episode 16.
Series Finale.
Good lord. It isn’t until you lay everything out when you realize that I’ve written enough about Television to last multiple lifetimes. Take from that what you will.

Again, TV MONTH 2016 begins proper on Monday. An entire month devoted to new essays, countdowns, personal nostalgia and obscure minutiae related to all things Television. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

MONDAY: THE SERIES PREMIERE.

We Interrupt This Broadcast.

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Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Not even five months into 2016, and the CDP has already reviewed Season 1 of Fuller House, curated the first Mix-Tape Trade in nearly five years, and published personal essay after personal essay after personal essay.

And all next month, we will embark on one of our biggest Pop Culture projects ever: TV MONTH 2016. An entire month devoted to essays, countdowns, obscure minutiae and personal nostalgia regarding all things Television.

I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that my goal was to put together a collection of TV-related stuff that celebrated why we (or at least I) specifically love Television, warts and all, that go beyond just the shows. From the birth of Cable, to Infomercials, to fuzzy UHF stations, to scrambled Premium channels, to National Anthem sign-offs and Doomsday alarms, I thought about what it truly means to be raised by Television, specifically during the 80’s and 90’s.

In addition to these essays, you can also expect a new countdown of the 100 Greatest Television Shows of the Last 35 Years, along with the long-awaited sequel to The Nuclear Nielsen Family. There will be new content every day, all month long.

It all kicks off this Friday, with a recap of nearly every TV-related essay, list and countdown in CDP history (and it’s a shitload, I can assure you). Sound off in the comments section, enjoy your day and get ready for TV MONTH 2016!

FRIDAY: THE SERIES PRIMER.

The CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 10 Drawing.

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It’s go time, kids!

After extensive laboring and building one of those spinny-wheels with the Bingo balls in them, we have drawn the 13 pairings for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 10. Everyone who signed up has someone that they will create a Mix-Tape for, and in tune, they have someone who will make one for them.

The pairings are as follows:

THE CDP will be making a Mix for SAMANTHA.
BRUCE will be making a Mix for JESSI.
MIKE I. will be making a Mix for CARLY.
MIKE H. will be making a Mix for CELIA.
LEVI will be making a Mix for SHERRY.
JESSE will be making a Mix for FIONA.
BENJAMIN will be making a Mix for MIKE I.
CELIA will be making a Mix for JESSE.
FIONA will be making a Mix for MIKE H.
SHERRY will be making a Mix for BRUCE.
SAMANTHA will be making a Mix for BENJAMIN.
CARLY will be making a Mix for LEVI.
JESSI will be making a Mix for THE CDP.

Wonderful. Here’s what we all do next:

1. I will be sending a Facebook message out to everyone today in a group (you’re all friends with me), reminding them who’s creating a Mix-Tape for whom. We’re doing this step through FB this time around; it’s quicker and cleaner than e-mail.

2. It will then be up to the recipient of the Mix-Tape to contact the creator and give them their physical mailing address (if you plan on physically mailing them a Mix and not a streaming one). You can do this right in the FB group message I create, or you can contact them separately if you wish.

3. Once you get the mailing address (or relevant contact info) of the person you’re sending a Mix-Tape to, MAKE IT AND SEND IT!

It’s an intimate group and everyone has a buddy; it would really suck if someone gets left out because you decided to go deadbeat on them. The deadline is to have ALL MIX-TAPES MAILED OUT BY THE END OF APRIL. If someone gets left out, I’ll feel personally responsible, so please don’t make an ass out of me or I’ll publicly shame you here on the CDP.

Once you receive your Mix-Tape, sound off in the comments section or FB so we all know the status of everyone’s packages (if you’d like). Half the fun is sharing the experience with everyone involved.

4. If you’re having a problem contacting anyone, have a question or anything else goes wrong, contact me and I’ll sort it out. I’m pretty neat like that. Remember though that people are busy, so give them a day or two to answer you back, but let me know if it’s taking a ludicrous amount of time.

5. I always mention this (and I’ll mention it again when I contact you), but if you’re looking for an easy way to thank me for inventing something as uniting and awesome as the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade, I would love a copy of your Mix. My mailing address is as follows:

theCDP
PO Box 865
Sun Prairie, WI
53590

Any mixes that make it to CDP Headquarters will get a public thank you and are eligible for a SUPER SECRET AWESOME PRIZE. Simple as that! Send one my way!

You should be receiving your instructional information by the end of the day today (Monday). So get out there, create a rad Mix-Tape and send it off to your partner before THE END OF APRIL!

The CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 10.

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For the first time in over four years, The CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade has returned for the tenth time!

Since it’s been a while, some folks may need a reset on how this works:

1. If you want to participate in the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade, just let me know by Saturday, April 16 at 10pm Central Time. No exceptions. You can do this in the comments, my Facebook page, through Twitter or E-mail.

2. On Monday April 18, right here on the CDP, everyone will be randomly assigned a participant who you will then make a Mix-Tape for. I function as the middleman if you need any help contacting your recipient or have any questions. We should be able to do all of it through Facebook, but we can do e-mail, too.

3. Make a Mix-Tape and send it to your recipient by the end of April. Pow.

Now, times have changed since the last time we did this, so you’re more than welcome to go the Streaming/Spotify/Google/iTunes route with your Mix if your recipient is able to receive it that way. HOWEVER, the spirit of the Mix-Tape Trade is to create a physical piece of media (usually a CD with artwork) and mail it out to your recipient. That’s the whole point of this thing.

4. For the first time since 2007, there is no theme for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 10. Make whatever you want, go whatever direction you want.

Okay, let’s do this. Sign up ASAP and enjoy your week. Names will be drawn and you will get further notification on Monday, April 18.

Love Is A Mix-Tape.

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September 2007
Theme – None

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February 2008
Theme – Love and Sex

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June 2008
Theme – Cover Songs

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October 2008
Theme – Catchphrase

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March 2009
Theme – The Top 10 of Everything

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September 2009
Theme – Six Degrees

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March 2010
Theme – Your New Favorite Band

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August 2010
Theme – Three Little Words


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November 2011
Theme – The End

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June 2016
Theme – TBA Monday, April 11

More details next week. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Fuller House Friday – ‘Save The Dates/Love Is In The Air.’

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(Season 1, Episodes 12/13: ‘Save The Dates/Love Is In The Air.’)

The Final Fuller House Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss. Be honest, you’re going to miss this, aren’t you?

I took an Ambien prior to watching the final two episodes of Fuller House, and just before the entire cast melted through the studio floor and out the bottom of my iPad, I remember thinking to myself, “How can things possibly get weirder?

Kimmy and Steph making out. Steph challenging DJ to a game of Twister. DJ joking about how ‘You Oughta Know’ is about Dave Coulier. The girls drunk dialing the Olsen Twins and making fun of their catchphrases. Surely I dreamed all of this, right? Fuller House cannot possibly be this self-aware. This self-referential.

This…good?

Despite a 12th episode that I thought was essentially filler, Fuller House closed on their highest note since the Premiere. I liked it. Frankly, I overall liked the entire season, and I’m excited for Season 2. I had a good time reviewing it, and I had a good time watching it. Not just for all the times it was warm and nostalgic and fondly embracing the past. But for all the times they caught me off guard and legitimately made me laugh with weird, original stuff. They showed not just that they were in on the joke, but took advantage of us underestimating what they were capable of pulling off.

I, however, will not be returning to review Season 2. The CDP Board Of Directors has informed me that, due to overwhelming public outcry, I must immediately cease and desist. I guess the FaceSwap photos really creeped a lot of people out. It was a good run.

So, for the last time, are you ready for the Episode 12 and 13 synopsis?

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Season 1, Episode 12: ‘Save The Dates.

– Steph writes a new song and wants to see if it ‘appeals to the youth demographic,’ so she plays it for Tommy. This was when I realized that, unlike Michelle, Tommy couldn’t really be used for anything other than sitting there due to how young he was. With Michelle, she eventually turned into a catchphrase-spouting ratings bonanza, but Tommy was basically just a baby lump that appeared from time to time for reaction shots.

– Who plays Jumbo-Sized Jenga on a glass coffee table? Jackson and Max.

– Steve’s taking DJ out for a 90’s-themed date. This whole thing teetered on the edge of me feeling bad for Steve, but DJ dug it so much that we, the audience, sorta did too.

– Steve was Bay Area Podiatrist of the Year in 2012. Little feather in his cap, there.

– Fernando can speak perfect English. I have no idea why this surprised me, but it did.

DJ: “Steve took me to the school gym to re-carve our initials in the bleachers. But apparently, security frowns on a grown man in a wig wandering the halls with a pocket knife.”

– Steve fills DJ’s glass to the tippy-top with wine. His behavior, with the right musical backdrop, goes from cute to full-on sexual predator in seconds.

– Steve rented Ghost in 1991 and never returned it. If Blockbuster Video hadn’t gone out of business, he would owe them $200,000.

– Tell me, tell me, that the scene with DJ and Steve massaging ground hamburger together while recreating the Ghost pottery scene wasn’t funny. I dare you.

– Steph and Kimmy kiss. Kiss kiss. Fernando divorces Kimmy so he can marry her again.

– Max plays Jenga with the baby, lets him win, and confesses that he will be in therapy for the rest of his life. Probably court-mandated therapy, if my theory about him is correct.

Season 1, Episode 13: ‘Love Is In The Air.

– DJ and Matt re-open the Vet Clinic together. Steve is jealous. DJ still hasn’t decided who she will give the final rose to.

– Matt was an underwear model in Miami. It got him through Vet School.

– Jesse and Becky are renewing their vows in the backyard, and Kimmy/Fernando decide to piggyback onto their ceremony with their own. Uncle Jesse is everyone’s uncle.

– Jesse feeds a whole cheeseburger to an infant.

Jackson: “Uncle Jesse, got a minute? Do you know Ramona’s friend, Lola? 
Jesse: “No, I don’t.”

Ramona: “I’m psyched for my family getting back together, but I’m actually going to miss you guys. Except you. I don’t really know you at all.
Jesse: “Well, I’m Uncle Jesse. I’m everyone’s uncle.”

– DJ still can’t choose between Steve or Matt, so she’s inviting neither to the wedding as her date. Kimmy and Steph make the respective calls for her, because it’s a Sitcom.

– Matt and Steve are handling DJ’s indecisiveness the same way any guys would: by being super nice and bro-y to each other. Matt gives Steve a Rolaid for his Acid Reflux.

– Becky and Jesse renew their vows. Kimmy has cold feet and bails a couple times, but eventually agrees to just stay engaged to Fernando and see where the relationship goes. So, I guess they’re staying in the house?

– Matt gets a smooch from Lola, because she likes how messed up his family is. That’s how I got my wife, too!

– The Bachelorette-style finale with DJ/Steve/Matt was really funny. “I’ve known it since high school and I’m even more sure of it now…we’re soul mates. I couldn’t even imagine my life without you…That’s all I have prepared.

– DJ picks neither, and the guys go out for a beer and pizza. Steph says it was the worst episode of The Bachelorette she’s ever seen.

The End. Season over.

Let’s skip right to the good stuff, with How Rude!

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– Gibbler Style is offering half off if you book your Baby Shower within six months of your Bridal Shower. It’s their “Don’t Do the Math” Special.

Steve: “I’m sorry. This was way sexier last night when I was practicing it with my dog.” Comet Junior Junior! Noooo!

– In exchange for being cool about Kimmy/Fernando piggybacking onto their ceremony, Becky promises to give Jesse the ‘Becky Special.’ We don’t hear what this is, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it was probably butt-related.

– Becky rainchecks Jesse on the ‘Becky Special.’ Jesse says he’ll have to give it to himself. Still going with the butt thing.

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So, just one last thing before we sign off. I can’t really prove it, and I don’t have all the facts to back it up, but I’m proposing the theory that Steve murdered DJ’s husband. Just wanted you to chew on that while waiting for Season 2 to start.

Thanks for reading. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend. Links to every episode review are below.

Episode 1 Review.
Episode 2/3 Review.
Episode 4/5 Review. 
Episode 6/7 Review. 
Episode 8/9 Review.
Episode 10/11 Review.