The CDP In Review: Best Essays (2011)


Here now, 11 of the Best CDP Essays from 2011, listed in ascending order of greatness. None of these essays are available in book form or anywhere else; enjoy.

#11. ‘Tat’s All Folks.‘ – 1/11/11
My first tattoo doesn’t turn into a humiliating failure. Yet.

#10. ‘Canceling The Simpsons? Best Idea Ever.‘ – 10/10/11
Why the greatest television show of all-time needs to leave to remain relevant.

#9. ‘The Most Realistic Video Game Ever Made.‘ – 7/18/11
How UFC Undisputed blew my mind right out the back of my skull.

#8. ‘The La Crosse Incident.‘ – 8/8/11
Possibly the most paranormal experience I’ve ever had.

#7. ‘Happy 7th Anniversary; Sorry I Ruined Your Life.‘ – 7/11/11
The anniversary we spent in the cabin of a tow truck.

#6. ‘The Cutest Loser.‘ – 10/17/11
The Missus accomplishes something nearly miraculous.

#5. ‘Somebody Must Have Stepped On A Butterfly.‘ – 7/27/11
Time Travel exists, and I have proof in the form of a children’s book.

#4. ‘Identity Theft Is Unfortunate.‘ – 4/18/11
Waking up to no money in your bank account is a humbling, terrifying, infuriating experience.

#3. ‘The Golden Briefcase.‘ – 6/20/11
The Summer I spent peddling pornography and mowing lawns.

#2. ‘2011 State Of The CDP Speech.‘ – 12/26/11
I’m nearly 30; it’s time to do something else for awhile.

#1. ‘So Long, And Thanks For Laughing At My Poop Stories.‘ – 2/18/11
Thanks, indeed. How a day at a High School changed my perceptions of nearly everything.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

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