Another Lost Monday is upon us. We have much to discuss; this relationship is suffocating me!
After a busy and relatively somber weekend, it feels good to be back home and settling into a rhythm. The NCAA tournament is shaping up to be one of the best in recent memory (and Florida/Illinois-free), there’s only one more episode of Lost before a four-week hiatus allows us all to catch our breath, and I begin pre-production on my second book in 15 days.
As I’ve stated before in interviews and the like, I have at least 25 brand-new essays that I already have begun outlining for the follow-up to the wildly successful cult classic, 65 Poor Life Decisions. My goal is to have it all wrapped up on my end (some funny jokes and a decent font selection, mostly) by the end of 2008. Stagnation is my only unforgivable sin, and I’m not waiting any longer to write more poop jokes and drag my family’s name through said poop.
By the way, personalized copies of 65 Poor Life Decisions are selling fast, and I will no longer be offering the direct-mail order deal once they run out. So if you’re looking to order an autographed copy through me, you’d better do it quick, because I honestly have less than a handful of books left that aren’t already reserved. Get cracking.
Now, it’s time to talk about Lost. One of the reasons that we dig Lost so much is due to their surprise endings, crazy revelations, trendy island fashions and their respect for the intelligence of the audience. Even though the single biggest gripe on the series is “I don’t get it,” the writers and producers of the Greatest Television Drama Of All-Time refuse to go the Heroes and Friday Night Lights route and dumb it down for a few more ratings points and that all-important “idiot” demographic the networks are constantly clamoring for (Why, FNL, why?).
That being said, last week’s episode was, in my opinion, a twist ending for the sake of twist endings. A plot device used to cover up the fact that they didn’t want to give away everything just yet, and in doing so, jerked the audience around for no good reason. In Lost history, Jin and Sun always collaborated on their flashback episodes, mainly because their separate storylines weren’t interesting enough to carry an episode on their own. Furthermore, their story as a couple was always more intriguing and parallel to what they happened to be experiencing on the island at any particular time.
What happened in ‘Ji Yeon’ was interesting, surprising and shocking, but somewhat unnecessary and deceptive for no other reason than to pad out a lackluster 48 minutes of events.
Don’t believe me? Take it up with The Thick & Meaty!
Jin is rushing to the hospital to deliver a present for his boss, Mr. Paik. This flashback appears to run parallel with the events of the soon-to-be-discussed flash-forward, but not so fast, Tough Guy. You’re about to look like an ass in front of all your friends.
Oh, and that’s it. That’s the entire flashback. He successfully delivers his stuffed panda on time, and life continues as planned. Quite possibly the most unnecessary flashback in Lost history.
ON THE ISLAND:
Sun realizes that she doesn’t have a lot of time left before her pregnancy begins to end her life. Hey, most women get to at least give birth before the child ruins the rest of their life, but not poor Sun. Regardless, she doesn’t trust the Boaties and she doesn’t trust Juliet, so she wants to head off to Locke’s camp where she can at least die on a comfortable mattress. Jin blindly follows, like any husband unwilling to step into the sputtering gunfire of an unnecessary argument would.
Juliet, trying to convince Sun to stick around and attempt rescue, spills the beans to Jin that Sun had an affair with that one guy who’s head was shaped like an egg. Jin grits his teeth and decides to go fishing with Bernard, who pops in simply to remind us that yes, he’s still a character on the show.
While fishing, Jin snaps and tears Bernard’s head off. This seems to calm Jin somewhat, who heads back to Sun, accepts her apology and makes nice.
Wow, Jin forgave that affair in near-record time. He didn’t even try to snag a free night of anonymous sex for himself or anything. He didn’t even let Maury get involved, for God’s sake. This only makes sense for one reason, and one reason alone, which leads us to our Question Of The Week!
“What Is Jin Hiding?”
A – His own private affair with a jug of Dharma Ranch Dressing.
B – A crippling Pachinko addiction.
C – That he was kind of an asshole up until about three weeks ago.
D – A prehensile tail.
Of course, the correct answer is “The largest collection of Korean pornography the island has ever seen.” Thanks for playing, let’s continue on.
ON THE FREIGHTER:
The crew of the freighter are dropping like flies every time they get near the island. I personally find the idea of the energy surrounding the island being so great as to cause insanity followed by suicide to be absolutely awesome. What a neat way to properly illustrate just how much power this place has. At least you did something right this week, Television Show.
The ‘spy’ on the boat sends a message Desmond & Sayid’s way, claiming that they shouldn’t trust the captain. Of course, if this spy is working for Ben, who does not want the island to be discovered, it would be theorized that we should trust what the captain has to say when it comes to a certain egomaniacal nebbish named Benjamin Linus. The spy keeps turning the boat towards the island, presumably in an attempt to drive everyone on board loopy.
When Desmond and Sayid finally meet up with the captain, he validates what Benjamin said in that Charles Widmore is behind the freighter and eventual discovery of the island. He also ties a few loose ends by stating that the Flight 815 crash was staged to pull one over on a global scale, and that Benjamin might have been to blame.
The revelation is that we see Michael Dawson on the boat, posing as a janitor named Kevin Johnson. Sayid and Desmond play along, but you can be assured that they will get some answers next week; particularly due to the preview footage that shows Sayid screaming “I want answers!“
Now, Michael popping back up after 28 episodes away was pretty awesome, albeit a little expected. This got me wondering if there are any other Lost cameos that would be even more awesome.
5 Awesome Lost Cameos By Former Cast Members:
1. Ana Lucia – Shows up drunk and crashes her PT Cruiser into the island’s temporary breakfast nook.
2. Charlie – Pops in to briefly to remind everyone that he’s nailing Evangeline Lilly in real-life.
3. Tom – puts on that fake beard and acts all creepy, just for old-times sake. Maybe someday they’ll fully explain why the Others liked to play dress-up so much.
4. Paulo – Strolls into frame, is immediately shot in the face by Sawyer, and the episode continues as planned.
5. Two words: Zombie Eko.
Sun, off the island and recognized as one of the Oceanic Six, successfully gives birth to a baby girl named Ji Yeon. A short time afterwards, Hurley flies in to see the baby, and visit Jin’s gravesite, where it is shown that he is being portrayed as someone who died in the Flight 815 crash. I had to pause the DVR and read it about four times, but yup, there it is.
Smash-cut, episode over.
It took me awhile to wrap my head around the ending, mainly because it was so unnecessary that it caught me by surprise. Nonetheless, this episode raised a lot of new questions, for which we must Break It Down!
4 – The date on Jin’s tombstone reads that he died on the date of the Flight 815 crash. This not only proves that he is NOT one of the Oceanic 6 (only 5 have been revealed), but that Sun is also following the story that only 8 survived the crash, and 6 survived for the rescue. There must be a damn good reason why Hurley, Sayid, Kate, Jack and Sun would all commit to something to emotionally draining.
I’m assuming they were offered free Cousin’s Sub sandwiches for life in exchange for their silence. What I wouldn’t give for that.
Cousin’s Subs. Better Bread, Better Subs.
8 – So, how did Jin die? Well, it would appear that Jin is not buried where his gravesite is, and that he merely didn’t make it off of the island. If he was killed or is still hanging around the island is anyone’s guess right now. Same goes for Claire, who has become so irrelevant in the face of her potentially amazing backstory that I almost feel bad for her.
15 – In the scene where Sun begins to feel labor pains, she is watching a Korean-dubbed episode of ‘Expose,’ which is the soap opera that Nikki starred in prior to the crash. Way to throw that in there; that Sun would want to watch a rerun starring a woman that she helped bury alive.
16 – As usual with Jin & Sun episodes, the on-island tension mimics the off-island revelations. In this case, Jin is making the case for himself that he is no longer the selfish, angry, scary dude that he once was. This was a great clue for the writers of the episode to prepare you for the swerve, considering that his behavior in purchasing the stuffed panda greatly mirrored the ‘old’ Jin that he no longer was. Also, the Year Of The Dragon (as mentioned by the toy store clerk) was around 2000 or 2001, so nerdy scholars of Asian calendars could have made that distinction, as well.
Of course, there were also PSP consoles in that toy store, which were not available in 2000 or 2001. I’ll let that blooper go, but it was worth mentioning that I was paying close attention.
(“Jin, did I ever tell you about the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah—the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”)
23 – This was the first episode to have a flashback and flash-forward at the same time. Let’s hope that they don’t do it again unless they have a better story to use the plot device on. I mean, flashbacks typically are shown as a direct result of the castaway thinking about them and subsequently reflecting upon them on the island. You can’t tell me that while Jin was going about his day, he was daydreaming about the time he almost didn’t get a stuffed panda to a hospital for his boss.
42 – So, Michael didn’t make it very far from the island. And where’s Walt? Next week should get to the bottom of most of that business, followed by a month-long hiatus while the remaining 5 episodes of the season are filmed. Will this season end with an honest-to-goodness rescue of the Oceanic 6, along with the reasons why their off-island fiasco continues to roll on? Yeah, probably.
Look at it this way: Season 4 is all about the Oceanic 6 getting off of the island. Season 5 will be all about why they need to get back to the island, and the final sixth season will be all about what happens when they get back. This is awesome to me, because it hints that Season 5 will be an almost-exclusively off-island drama, containing plenty of on-island mythology as to how it came to be. How cool is that going to be?
Spoilers ahoy! Duck and cover! It’s time for The Preview!
1 – The eighth and final episode of the first half of the season is titled “Meet Kevin Johnson.” It will be Michael-centric, and probably a little Waaaaaallllt-centric as well.
2 – The episode will be told in flashback mode, detailing everything that has happened to Michael from the point that he sailed away at the end of Season 2. We’ll see what sort of deal Michael made with Ben, and how far-reaching his power is. If you recall, Michael is one of the worst decision-makers that ever set foot on the island, so I’m hoping for whimsical folly on a grand scale.
3 – The press release from ABC reads: “Sayid confronts Ben’s spy on the freighter, and Ben urges daughter Alex to flee Locke’s camp in order to survive an impending attack.” It would appear to me as if the freighter will be making it to the island, and some sort of hell will break loose. ABC’s promise that “someone will die this week” never sits well with me, as this usually means that a slew of extras or secondary characters are going to bite it.
In the extremely rare chance that a main character were to die next week, I’d put money on either Jin, Claire or Michael, none of which will need to hang around much longer.
4 – This spoiler comes to us from someone who worked as an extra on this episode: “I can confirm that it is a Michael-centric episode that takes place between the time he left up until present time on the island. I was one of the extras in NY where Michael ends up and meets Tom. On the set there was a lot of talk about how Tom could be there.“
Interesting. Thanks, Random Spoiler Guy Who Will Never Be Hired For Extra Work Again!
5 – Pac-Man is now collecting dust in my office, as I took advantage of some free time last week to purchase an electronic drum kit. For me, this is a chance to continue drumming without getting evicted from my apartment or having to join an actual band. Furthermore, it should come in handy during extended periods of Writer’s Block, where Jameson whiskey used to fill those lonely voids. I’ve been trying to cut back on my drinking, so I figured I’d caulk the gap with a worthwhile vice that’s slightly less annoying than being an alcoholic.
That’s it for me, folks. Thanks for checking out another Lost Monday. Sound off in the comments section, send any erotic photography to email@example.com, purchase my book here and enjoy your week. As always, here are links to every Lost Monday so far this season. Bye.
Lost Monday – Episode 1 Recap.
Lost Monday – Episode 2 Recap.
Lost Monday – Episode 3 Pop Crunch Recap.
Lost Monday – Episode 4 Recap.http://feeds.feedburner.com/%7Es/blogspot/TheCDP?i=http://communistdanceparty.blogspot.com/2008/02/lost-monday-eggtown.html
Lost Monday – Episode 4 Pop Crunch Recap.
Lost Monday – Episode 5 Recap.
Lost Monday – Episode 6 Recap. http://feeds.feedburner.com/%7Es/blogspot/TheCDP?i=http://communistdanceparty.blogspot.com/2008/03/lost-monday-other-woman.html