Lost Monday – "The Beginning Of The End."

Lost Monday - The Beginning Of The End.
Season 4 – Episode 1: “The Beginning Of The End.”

The first Lost Monday of Season 4 is upon us. We have much to discuss.

The Beginning Of The End,” in my opinion, was as good of a season premiere as you can ask for. No need to jump into all sorts of insane action right away; better to re-establish the characters and previous story lines, introduce a few more mysteries and set the stage for the first half of Season 4. Believe me, things are going to get crazy very soon, so a ‘welcome back’ season premiere is fine by me. It allows us to seamlessly get back into the swing of things while simultaneously being shown the layout for the rest of the year. You can’t ask for too much when it comes to the first episode of a season, and when it comes to Lost, they’ve already established themselves as the best when it comes to return surprises.

In short, quit your bitching. Lost is back for the attack, and I like where it’s headed.

18-1. Damn Times A Million.
(Oh look, a Patriots fan.)

The main focus of “The Beginning Of The End” was the battle lines being drawn concerning the freighter that’s on the way to the island, and the flash-forward sequence that seems to suggest that the ‘Oceanic Six’ made some sort of nasty moral decision to get off of the island, one that the survivors are struggling with in their own specific ways.

Let’s lay it all out for everyone, in the first Thick & Meaty of Season 4!

Thick And Meaty!


After news gets around that the freighter is on the way to the beach, the survivors instantly go into gluttony mode, helping themselves to handfuls of DHARMA-brand Gummi Bears and Tom Collins Mix. This is short-lived, however, when Desmond surfaces to inform everyone that Charlie has died and gone to Second-Tier Actor On Lost Heaven. Desmond lets the folks on the beach know that Charlie was warning them about trusting the freighter, but Hurley tosses the walkie into the ocean before they have a chance to radio the others. He did this presumably because the walkie wasn’t food.

At the radio tower, Jack and company are waiting for rescue, each taking turns booting Benjamin Linus in the knob. Ben is honestly concerned about the arrival of the freighter, so he asks Rousseau to take Alex as far away from the beach as possible. Rousseau responds with yet another devastating knob punch.

We're Out Of Hot Sauce! Alert The Authorities!

While Jack and Kate bask in the syrup-thick sexual tension they’ve created for themselves, Jack lets Kate know that he will kill Locke if he sees him again. This is not only due to him killing Naomi to avoid potential rescue, but also because he stole Jack’s last stick of Fruit Stripe. The freighter folks try to radio Naomi, causing Jack and Kate to lie about the knife currently lodged deep between her shoulder blades. As it turns out, Naomi isn’t dead yet, and headed out into the jungle to avoid the prospect of further stabbings in the future. Can’t blame her, really. Who just waits around to be stabbed in the back for a second time, besides myself in the 8th Grade?

Jack and Ben head off in the wrong direction to find Naomi, while Kate (who stole the satellite phone from Jack because she’s a kleptomaniac bitch with no moral compass to speak of and a complete lack of trust for anything near her) goes the right way and finds her, almost getting eviscerated in the process. Naomi covers for the castaways when she radios the freighter, lying about her injuries and eventually dying after reconfiguring their signal to better find the island and secure a year-long subscription to the NFL Network.

How many characters have come and gone from this show within three episodes? Not that I’ll miss Naomi or anything; she seemed rather dirty. Probably someone I wouldn’t want to stand next to for very long.

Get Mikhail Over Here Right Now.
(“Kate, it’s Jack. Have you seen my right eye?”)

As the group from the beach trek through the jungle, Hurley begins to fall behind and becomes due for a patented Hurley Freak-Out. Jacob’s cabin appears in front of him, and he sees one Christian Shepard hanging out in the rocking chair. He then sees Jacob’s cabin everywhere he turns, eventually blocking it out of his mind permanently; a sign that perhaps it was never there to begin with. On a similar note, Christian Shepard gets around more than Tara Reid and Diddy combined.

When everyone meets back up on the beach, tensions build over Charlie’s final message and the overall evilness of the approaching freighter. People seem to want to choose sides, as Jack takes this lull in the action to attempt to shoot Locke in the face. Those who believe in potential rescue stay with Jack, and those who are correct in thinking that evil approacheth head off to the barracks with Locke. Still, a few travel to the barracks solely because there’s a working pinball machine there. It’s the Guns & Roses one that plays ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ when you hit the multiball.

The island story ends with a helicopter landing on the island, and a parachutist approaching Jack, presumably the one who was radio contact with him. Had the episode gone maybe ten seconds longer, it’s my assumption that Locke would have blown him up somehow.

IN FLASH-FORWARDS (From Lostpedia).

I'm Here For Evil Reasons. Would You Like Some Evil?
(“Hello Hurley, my name is Bob Evilton.”)

Jack is seen in his Los Angeles kitchen mixing a morning cocktail when his eye falls on TV coverage of police in hot pursuit of a speeding motorist. We watch the chase from an omniscient perspective as it comes to an end. The police command the driver out of his car, and it’s none other than Hurley who resists arrest while yelling, “I’m one of the Oceanic Six!”

Hurley is in a police interrogation room where he is shown a video of himself in a convenience store paying at the cash register, then “freaking out” and running out of the store. While Mike is out getting a donut, Hurley sees a vision of Charlie in his hoodie swimming up to a window in the interrogation room, which is suddenly underwater, and touching his hand to the window, causing it to break and allowing water to rush in. On Charlie’s hand is written, “THEY NEED YOU.” The cop enters the room when Hurley begins screaming and threatens him with incarceration in a mental institution. Hurley, however, looks relieved to hear this, and thanks the cop and hugs him.

Fat Jack In A Little Coat.
(Jack feebly attempts to cheer Hurley up with the ‘fat guy in a little coat’ bit.)

Hurley is now back at the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute and apparently happy. He is playing Connect Four when the orderly gives him his medicine and tells him he has a visitor. The man introduces himself as Matthew Abbadon and claims that he is an attorney for Oceanic Airlines. He tells Hurley that he wants to upgrade him to a nicer institute. When Hurley grows suspicious of Abbadon’s question and asks for a business card, the latter states that he must have left them at home. Hurley declines the offer, causing Abbadon to turn much more serious and ask, “Are they still alive?” Hurley looks startled and Abbadon continues to try and provoke him about what he knows. Thinking the man is after him, Hurley has a fit and starts to yell for a nurse. As the orderlies constrain him, he glimpses back and sees Abbadon leave.

Hurley is sitting on the grounds of the Hospital when Lewis comes over and says that a man is staring at him, he looks over to see Charlie. Hurley is shocked and starts to run away as Charlie tries to calm him down. Hurley states that he freaked out at the store because he saw him there. Charlie tells him that he really is there, and that he is indeed dead. After they talk about Charlie’s death, Charlie says Hurley has to do “something” that Hurley has been avoiding, and he claims the reason Hurley ran from him was because he knew he was there to “tell him”. Hurley says he doesn’t want to hear any more and closes his eyes and counts to five, while he does, Charlie tells him “don’t do this”, and then “You know they need you”. When Hurley opens his eyes, Charlie is gone.

Could You Kindly Restart My Heart?
(It’s good to see the Geico Cavemen still getting work after the cancellation of their show.)

A much more in control Jack than seen in “Through the Looking Glass” visits Hurley and plays a game of Horse with him. The two begin the game talking about being noticed frequently. Jack says the reporters are leaving him alone and only gets asked for autographs while buying coffee. Hurley is glad to see him but wonders why he came. Jack, after losing a few shots to Hurley, asks if he is “going to tell.” Hurley doesn’t respond. Jack decides to leave and grabs his coat. Hurley says he’s sorry he went with Locke, and that he should have gone with Jack instead, but Jack says that it’s not an issue. Hurley wonders if they should go back to the Island and says “it” will do whatever it takes to bring them back. Jack says he will never go back to the Island, to which Hurley replies, “Never say never, dude,” as Jack exits the room.

Thanks for the flash-forward recap, Lostpedia! You’re always there for me when I get sick of writing and decide to watch the Super Bowl instead. What an absolutely remarkable and historic outcome, by the way; without question, one of the greatest Super Bowls ever.

You know, the coolest part of the flash-forwards so far has been the story of the ‘Oceanic Six,’ presumably only 6 of the castaways made it back home, to huge attention and fanfare. Of course, it would appear as if their story isn’t over, as what they did to leave the island is suspect and questionable characters and inquiries continue to mess with them long after rescue. This brings us to today’s Question Of The Week.

Question of The Week.
(“You all, every zombie!”)

What Secret Is The ‘Oceanic Six’ Hiding From The World?

A. The remaining castaways were killed in a game of ‘Apples To Apples‘ gone horribly wrong.
B. They were never really on the island to begin with; made the whole damn thing up.
C. It’s actually the ‘Oceanic Nine,’ and the three others are hiding in Jack’s beard.
D. The island was pretty awesome, and they go back every Summer to ‘chill out.’

I’ll let you think about that for the time being; let’s move on, and Break It Down!
Break It Down!

4 – During the opening high-speed chase with Hurley, you can see his former boss Randy (Locke’s former boss, too) trying to catch the whole thing on his video camera. Unfortunately for Randy (or for the continuity department on Lost), his lens cap was still on.

8 – Chrstian Shepard is causing me serious headaches concerning the possible outcome of this show. The 13th Mobisode showed Christian shortly before the first few seconds of the Pilot episode, his corpse was never recovered, and now we see him hanging out inside of ‘Jacob’s’ cabin, rocking one white tennis shoe (the other which seems to be caught in a tree during the Pilot episode). I honestly can’t think of a more cohesive show concerning call-backs and call-aheads than Lost.

I didn’t watch the Mobisodes at first, mainly because I don’t think any sort of viral marketing is conducive to the overall enjoyment of the show, nor should they be mandatory viewing to fully understand the direction of the show. However, Mobisode 13 is worth your time, if only to demonstrate how together the writers and producers are when it comes to making Lost amazing.

Jackass Returns Again, Acting Like A Jackass.
(Even for just a few frames, Randy builds enough rage in me to justify murder.)

15 – This was the first season premiere that wasn’t Jack-centric, even though the beginning of the episode was seen partially through the eyes of a Jack flash-forward. It also marked the first season premiere that didn’t feature a closeup of an eye. My assumption is that this means nothing, which somehow comforts me.

16 – The scene with Hurley and Charlie was interesting, in that it raised the supernatural question of Hurley actually communicating with the dead. They wanted to blur the lines of reality as much as possible, much like Desmond’s flashback concerning his quick glimpses into the immediate future. Or, Hurley is insane. The jury’s still out on this one. However, Hurley’s friend ‘Lewis’ saw Charlie, too. So, is Charlie real, or is ‘Lewis’ a figment of Hurley’s imagination?

I'm Not The Devil. Srsly.
(The world’s first living, breathing, waterproof Muppet.)

23 – The Camaro the Hurley is driving in the opening of the episode is the same one that he restored with his father as a kid in the flashbacks for “Tricia Tanaka Is Dead.” I sincerely hope that when this show is all said and done, we’ll get a nice, comprehensive behind-the-scenes look at how the writers made all of this come together. Seriously, this is sheer brilliance on an unparalleled scale. Feel free to debate me in the comments; I’d love to hear about a more thought-out show in the history of American television.

42 – Hurley’s flash-forward seems to take place before Jack’s previous flash-forward. Whatever seems to be eating Hurley up will eventually bother Jack in the same way. Wouldn’t it be funny if Lost went all St. Elsewhere on us and revealed that the ‘Oceanic Six’ are all just mental patients who made the whole thing up? Yeah, no. I suppose it wouldn’t be funny at all. Sorry.

Step back, prepare for spoilers and wear protective garments, because it’s time for The Preview!

Confirmed Dead.

1 – Episode 2 will be titled “Confirmed Dead.”

2 – The episode will center around the flashbacks of the four members of the freighter, and their intentions for arriving to the island.

– Lock will flat-out ask Ben about the Smoke Monster this week. Don’t expect an answer, however.

4 – Jeff Fahey will be a new character on the set, posing as one of the four evil folks arriving on the freighter. I don’t know about you, but I love this guy. He’s an awesome actor, has terrifying eyes and should make a great addition to the crew. I just had to interject this, because I really like Jeff Fahey.

(Yeah, that’s Ben. Lived on the island all your life, my ass!)

5 – My favorite Super Bowl commercials are as follows:

#4 – E*Trade – “Baby Rents Clown.”
#3 – Tide – “Stain.”

#2 – Bud Light – “Will Ferrell.”

#1 – Fed-Ex – “Pigeons.”

Well, there you have it, the first Lost Monday of the season in the books. Start the discussion in the comments section, send any erotic photography to communistdance@yahoo.com and enjoy the rest of your Monday.

61 thoughts on “Lost Monday – "The Beginning Of The End."

  1. <>Want a place for your children/grandchildren to play? This 3 bedroom ranch, 2-car garage home is next to a park. Lower level also finished for indoor fun, game, refreshment, sitting and music rooms. Yes, the piano is included. First floor laundry with appliances. Great location. Home Warranty included. Sq. ft. per Sun Prairie assessor.<>A.What’s a “Sun Prairie assessor”?B.It comes with a piano. Can it be all that bad?


  2. An assessor who lives in Sun Prairie, I assume??I figure they had to throw in that “Yes, the piano is included” because they got so many people jokingly asking if it was included. That’s sad.


  3. I’m assuming they threw in the piano because they don’t want to move the damn thing.When we move again, the new arrivals are getting themselves a free treadmill.


  4. The rest of the place was almost <>too<> bland, then you get to the basement and it’s like “WTF kind of secret Pagan rites were performed down here?” bizarre. There is such a thing as a poorly thought-out “theme” room. The heck with the piano – that house better come with some busty serving wenches, for that asking price. Do one-level ranch styles really go for as much up there as they do here (120-200K)? Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad about the Florida housing market…


  5. The main problems with busty serving wenches?1. You have to feed them = $$$2. Gravity + age = saggy serving wenches3. They die.


  6. Caitlin, that rocks!!!Maus, in the Madison area, a decent ranch home goes for probably 150-200k. Homes are very expensive in this area. In other parts of Wisconsin where it’s more rural (further North and such) it’s not nearly as expensive though. Madison is the capitol, so homes are much more expensive here. Milwaukee too.


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