The 2007 CDP Year In Review.

2007 CDP Year In Review.

2007 was a monumental year at the CDP. Web traffic tripled across the boards (2500 people will read this post before Christmas; 2800 before Kwanzaa). Content and essays were about as good as you could expect from a borderline-reclusive with crippling ego issues that doesn’t do anything for anyone anymore. Pop Culture pundits collectively took their dignity back from Perez Hilton and proclaimed me the current King of the Castle, which is about as mixed of a blessing as having a hot stepsister. Hell, I even published my first book, the profits of which allowed me to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping this year (I sure hope everyone likes pennies and string!). Friends were made, enemies were crushed into powder and gallons of brandy were injected straight into my liver.

2007 was also the year that the Madison Cultural Elite welcomed me into their world with open arms, hoisted me onto their collective back and ran me around town while I giggled and tried to hold the pee in. Local press has shined upon thee, hip tastemakers proclaimed me to be ‘in,’ and I was successful in not getting fired from my job for the fourth year running. I spent hours in line at the Post Office due to the loyal fans that wanted an autographed copy of my book, and turned my home office into a monument of receipts, Priority mailers and packing tape. I’ve been told it’s all tax deductible, even the bubble wrap.

So, if you’re just catching up, or can’t get enough of what I’m bringing to the dance, let’s take a look back at the year that was, through the eyes of the Little Blog That Could; the CDP.

January 2007.

January
3 – I attempt to get edgier with my fashion sense. It doesn’t go well.
5 – Evan, the Official Spokesbaby of the CDP, takes a vacation.
8 – Morphing into a genetic freak takes more work than I’m willing to give.
9 – Randy Orton’s head explodes on national television.
22 – Alcohol and karaoke: an American institution.

February 2007.

February
1 – I turn 25 years old. Teenage girls officially find me ‘creepy.’
9 – Lost Friday returns for 2007. Hilarity and beards ensue.
14 – The CDP turns 3 years old; finally stops pooping itself.
15 – “What the hell is in our driveway, honey?
21 – I learn a hard lesson about fatherhood: It sucks ass.

March 2007.

March
7 – I once again create a Mad-Lib. Traffic reaches all-time low.
12 – I have cybersex against my will; Chris Hansen isn’t amused.
14 – The five stages of grief, updated for the 21st Century.
28 – Me and the Missus have a language all our own: Annoying.
30 – Lost Friday rolls along. Phrase “Bulletproof Breasts” enters lexicon.

April 2007.

April
2 – I don’t have any black friends.
4 – Thanks to good fortune, I almost die in a fiery car wreck.
5 – One of my first (and best) interviews ever.
16 – The very first Live Video Chat takes place. Chat #2 yet to happen.
24 – I make an effort to not be the least responsible person alive.

May 2007.

May
1 – How many times do I have to repost this essay before people care?
7 – The CDP & Pork Tornado: The Golden Spike of humor blog excellence.
15 – I love having drunken, emotional breakdowns at public functions.
21/22 – The best Lost captions of Season 3. Oh, the huge Manatee!
28 – The 65 Poor Life Decisions process begins with a whimpering bang.

June 2007.

June
13 – My annual visit to the House on the Rock. Abject terror ahoy!
15 – The CDP gets a glowing review; my ego takes out an entire city block.
25 – Sometimes I miss my old car, then I realize that I actually don’t.
27 – Live Video Chat #2 is cancelled due to nobody giving a crap.
28 – 65 Poor Life Decisions is in full swing; I’m in full depression.

July 2007.

July
5 – Welcome to Devil’s Lake. Go to hell.
13 – My single greatest contribution to society, hands down.
16/18 – I teach you how to make a Bomb Pop in my YouTube debut.
23 – I suffer the worst injury of my adulthood thus far.
31 – Bon Jovi visits the family corn stand. Wait, what?

August 2007.

August
1 – Heinz ketchup is magic!
9 – I break my iPod, along with the spines of everyone at the Apple Store.
20 – The aftermath of the worst vacation of my entire life.
23 – My best friend was a 40 pound cat. No Photoshopping required.
29 – My pain is your belly laugh. Enjoy.

September 2007.

September
3 – The CDP Fall Television Preview, pre-strike and full of wide-eyed hope.
10 – I’m not known for physical humor, but…here you go.
24 – We visit the Lodi Corn Maze and get all grabby with stuff.
25 – Ken: By Request Only. An Internet mystery solved by me.
28 – The Missus gets a new car. Hipsters everywhere shed a tear.

October 2007.

October
5 – Dropping a bomb at the EAA.
10 – Geek.Kon PWNZ every N00B in Madison.
12 – I answer everything you ever wanted to know about First Base.
17 – 20 photographs of my Door County vacation. Apple-scented, of course.
24 – An awesomely epic rant on loneliness, aging, the scene and my friends.

November 2007.

November
6 – 65 Poor Life Decisions is finished. Lock up your nerdy daughters.
13 – The Nationwide Mix-Tape Trade reviews start. Friends are lost.
27 – I give you a behind-the-scenes peek into the last six months.
28 – 65 Poor Life Decisions is locked and loaded, and so am I.
30 – The Single Greatest & Most Important Day In CDP History.

December 2007.

December
5 – If only for a fleeting moment, I was your king.
6 – You’d assume I was smart enough to handle the Post Office. Nope.
7/14 – Positive press for my book continues. Blushing at an all-time high.
17 – I name my favorite albums of 2007. Any and all cred is destroyed.
18 – I expose myself to friends and fans. A collective ‘ew!’ chimes out.

There you have it; an entire year of my life, condensed and organized for your careful scrutiny. Take your time with this post; check out the links, sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

70 thoughts on “The 2007 CDP Year In Review.

  1. I’m holding back typing out the entire song. It’s like Eric Cartman with ‘Come Sail Away;’ once I hear a line from it, I have to sing the whole thing out in my head.(finishing song in head)There, better now. I’m totally going to the Post Office, yo. I don’t think anyone’s ever uttered that sentence before.

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  2. <>That’s quite a story, Maus. I’m visiting Costa Rica this summer…I don’t think they’re much different than the U.S. on censorship.<>I walked around Puntarenas for two days before it hit me.“This place smells like Spaghetti-Ohs”!Didn’t stop me from having a good time.

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  3. <>MOE/JT<> – Sorry to disappoint, but there was nothing in the CDPO box <>(hilarious, by the way)<> but TOTAL AND COMPLETE WIN FROM CARGIRL.I got my t-shirt, I got an order for 2 books, I got my mix CD, I got a MIX CASSETTE TAPE and a handwritten letter and tracklisting. Fantastic all around.My car has a cassette player in it, so I will listen to the mix for the first couple times that way. It’s only right; that’s how it was meant to be. I’ll send out your books on Monday, too.It should be mentioned that getting this package reminded me a lot of the movie <>Saw<>. When I opened my PO box, there was a key in there, nothing else. It was all old and rusty, and there was a note attached that said “Go to Locker #4.” I looked all over the Post Office and couldn’t find a Locker #4 anywhere. Finally, I saw it, hidden behind a plant, and slowly stepped closer. I put the old key in, and it locked itself in and wouldn’t come out. I thought my eyes were about to be scraped out, but then the locker sprang open and the package was sitting there. It was just too big for my PO Box.It was an awesome Punk Rock gift, and it exceeded my expectations, which were pretty high. Awesome all the way around; I’m a very happy guy.I’ll put a photo up of me wearing the shirt after the holidays. W0000t.

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  4. I’m glad you liked it. The paper I stuffed it with was old envelopes that the postal worker found in the back, because it wouldve been 6 dollars to buy stuffing paper.How much more Punk Rock does it get?

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  5. Yeah, I forgot to mention that she yacked into the package.It’s pretty Punk; I put the tape in my bag so I remember to take it to work with me. I’m considering busting out my cassette Walkman to listen to it at the office. iPods are soooo lame.It was a very unexpectedly awesome package, and I again thank you immensely. I know you already have the CDP Merch I’ve been shipping out to everyone, so I’ll have to come up with something really special to send you.

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  6. <>Who is this CFD98 and where did their comment go? I am intrigued!!!<>As am I…CDP – 2 things:1. I still haven’t sent the shine, but only because I dropped the jar and it busted, so I’m awaiting jar numero dos.2. I had a dream about you while I was napping this afternoon. We met up, and you insisted that I call you “Lucky Jackie Pop-Pop,” as all of your close friends do.

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  7. JT – Now, you’re going to HAVE to call me that when we finally meet up. It’s destiny.It’s also destiny that we never get this Moonshine. Maybe it’s a sign from above; I shouldn’t be drinking poison.CFD98 is one of my many alien fans.

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