65 Poor Life Decisions – The CDP Book.

Click Here To Buy The Book!

There are two ways you can order copies of 65 Poor Life Decisions, my debut book:

1. Directly through Lulu, by clicking on the above link, banner link, OR THIS LINK. It’s safe, secure and simple. Cost is $15.95. If you’re feeling charitable, feel free to leave me a 5-star review or any kind words while you’re there.

2. Directly through me, which includes a copy of the book, shipping to anywhere in the nation, autographs/personalization and free CDP merch. Cost is $21, and we will accept money orders or well-concealed cash (no checks).

Send the $21, along with a return address, name to make the book out to, and e-mail address for delivery confirmation, to:

PO Box 865
Sun Prairie, WI 53590

If you are requesting a copy through me, and you live outside of the United States, please send $25 to cover extra shipping charges. American money or International money orders only, please.

If you are paying via money order, please make orders out to Ryan Zeinert, not ‘theCDP.’ Also, while money orders are traceable and secure, I can’t be held responsible if your cash payment doesn’t make it to my PO Box.

Thank you so much in advance for liking my dumb little stories; I can’t thank you enough. This is honestly one of the neatest days of my life, and I have each of you to thank. Cheers.

Buy The CDP Book Here!

UPDATE #1 – The almighty Kevin Palmer from PointlessBanter.net has put up a ‘5 Questions’ interview with me concerning the release of the book. It’s hilarious and informative, you can check it out right here!

UPDATE #2 – HoneyFlora over at 10 Links A Day has allowed me to guest blog and list my top 10 favorite humor sites on the web. I even give a shout out to CDP alumni Pork Tornado, Pointless Banter and the Cargirl News Minute! You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #3 – Cargirl over at the highly underrated and hard-working Cargirl News Minute has posted a brief reminder/plug for 65 Poor Life Decisions. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #4 – JT from Spork Nation posted one of my absolute favorite interviews concerning the book. It was done ‘live chat’ style and the questions were great. It’s about as personal as I’ll get in an interview, so please take a look at it if you want to read something slightly more insightful than what I’m used to. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #5 – Since we’re going interview-crazy today, here’s a good one conducted by Jesse Russell for Dane 101 awhile back. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #6 – Will Betheboy has been so kind as to plug 65 Poor Life Decisions on his blog. Now if I can only convince him to upload a photo of him or Nina kissing the book…hmmm… You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #7 – Kenny Frankly is plugging 65 Poor Life Decisions on her blog, Topping From The Bottom. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #8 – On Friday afternoon, I met up with a few friends, signed a few books and had a few drinks.

Release Party Coaster.

At least I know that my book is good for something.

UPDATE #9 – Maus from Idle Neatness posted a brief plug for 65 Poor Life Decisions, complete with sexy banners and links. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #10 – Vintage Caveman just put up a link to my site, a link to the book, and some kind words concerning 65 Poor Life Decisions. He’s going the mail-order route; choosing to conceal his cash in a box of Mike-n-Ikes. I have the greatest fans in the world, hands down. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #11 (12/03) – This weekend has been busy, but also very refreshing to my burnt out self. I’m amazed to say that I sold 30 books in the last three days, strictly hand-to-hand. What I mean is that I sold 30 books in person, not counting any online or mail orders. This is incredible to me, because I was quite certain that I wouldn’t sell a total of 30 books.

With this good news in my pocket, I’m fully recharged and ready to spend all week fulfilling your mail order requests, as well as taking on more interviews and local press. Expect to see more of those in the upcoming days this week. I’ve been snowed in since Friday evening, but I’ll be driving to the Post Office every single say, making sure that everything is being taken care of the instant it gets in my hands. It’s the least I can do for such supportive and generous readers.

Now, send me some money, please. Rock Band for the PS2 comes out in 10 days.

UPDATE #12 – HeyDomsar just posted a fantastic (and lengthy) interview with yours truly over on his Milwaukee-based blog, Thought For The Day. This is a good one; You can check it out right here!


205 thoughts on “65 Poor Life Decisions – The CDP Book.

  1. JT – Gosh, feel better.Neutral Milk Hotel takes some patience at times, but it’s worth it. I know what you mean, though.CARGIRL’S LIST:1. Enjoying a vegetable panini at Einstein’s Bagels.2. Stuffing mailorder book requests in my home office.3. Playing Guitar Hero III/Rock Band (tried it out at Best Buy; excited as hell).4. Taking a time machine to Thursday, where my book release will be mentioned in the newspaper.5. Oh, what the hell. Tina Fey.


  2. CDP-1. Veggie Paninis @ EB are ambrosial. I enjoy them a lot.2. I want to get that damn shirt so I can send you your package and get my book. That will be an amazing day.3. I’m jealous. I think I’m going to make my way to a Best Buy sometime very soon (like, today) and try it out for myself.4. I want to see scans!5. I’m glad I got this out of you.


  3. I have like 20 things I’d rather be doing right now. The top 5 include:1. Sleeping2. Drinking, heavily3. Finishing up <>65 Poor Life Decisions<>. I’m more than half way!4. Working on my final presentation for Women in Society. Not because I would enjoy it, but because the fact that I don’t have it even started and it is due next Monday is stressing me right out.5. Knitting. I should never tell myself that I am giving knitted Christmas presents, because I inevitably run out of time to knit them. I promised my Mom though!


  4. 1. Are you kidding me? I didn’t even know you had an EB down there. Bizarre.2. And I the same.3. It was awesome. The idea of playing fake guitar and half-singing at the same time is just…(shudder). Wave Of Mutilation is on the song list! The original!4. I’ll post any press my book receives, Scout’s Honor.5. I’ll pay for this in spades. The Missus wants to do Reggie Bush though, so we’re even.


  5. JULIA- I wish I could knit. I used to think I could crochet, until I saw the horrified look on my mom’s face when I made her a scarf one year, and she knew she would have to wear the hideous thing.I no longer crochet.


  6. Since today was decorate the office for _________ (name your holiday of choice – we’re required to acknowledge them all), I’ve gotten nothing work-related accomplished. So I say, why start now? Top Five Things I’d Rather Be Doing…1. Napping2. Reading3. Watching <>Tin Man<>4. Clive Owen 5. Finishing up the Christmas shopping


  7. Julia is hard at work! I hope you’re enjoying the book, you might be the first person to finish it. Please don’t give away the surprise twist ending!(Hint: I’m really a woman.)


  8. Top 5 I’d rather be doing:1. Holding down solid food.2. Holding down liquids.3. Taking a hot shower.4. Working, for God’s sake5. Billy D. WilliamsAlso, thanks for the well wishes, y’all. Much appreciated.


  9. Now all I can think about is you and Billy Dee pouring bottles of Colt 45 all over each other’s glistening chests.Sorry, I’m not helping your illness at all. In fact, I think I have one now, too.


  10. JT – have you tried popsicles? This is assuming you have someone to get them for you, if you don’t have any on hand. My son just had some sort of monster stomach virus recently, and that was one of our solutions to the fact that he couldn’t even keep down water and kept trying to eat the ice chips. I always fall back to dry toast and ginger ale. Hope you feel better soon.


  11. Maus – thanks for the suggestion. When either the girlfriend or the roommate gets ome from work, I may have them go on a popsicle run.CDP – Yikes.


  12. Currently homegenizing wire harness hardware on one of our boats so you don’t need three different screwdrivers to take the stuff down.<>It’s more fun than it sounds<>Top Five things I get to do later:1. Play army guys with my son2. Have tea party with daughters3. change stinky diaper on little one4. Watch <>Charlie Brown Christmas<>5. Finish joint compound in sunroom


  13. Can I just say that Rock Band is the best video game I’ve ever played. I spent the entire Thanksgiving weekend with a buddy in North Carolina beating it. The song choices are excellent and I actually felt like I could play real drums now kinda. I’m still excited about that weekend. Good times.Also, what in the world? You guys don’t like Jenny Lewis and Rilo Kiley? Are we talking about the same person/band? I simply don’t understand.


  14. Jenny Lewis is a red head. Enough said. And aside from the joint compound thing and stinky diapers (I don’t miss those days), Blustacon’s list of “must do’s” sounds pretty kick-ass.


  15. I can’t wait until <>Rock Band<> is in my living room. If you can nail the drums on Expert, you’re damn close to establishing the rhythm to rock an actual kit, no doubt.Sorry about Jenny Lewis. I have my reasons, but I also understand her appeal. I dig that the kid from <>Salute Your Shorts<> plays guitar.


  16. <>I WILL BE IN MY LIVE VIDEO CHAT ROOM TONIGHT, FROM 5-6 PM CENTRAL TIME!<>Again, no formal announcement, so if 2 or 3 people can pop it and keep me company while I’m stuffing mailorder envelopes, that would rule.


  17. Yeah, I’ve got some things to do in the office from 5-6pm Central, and I thought it might be fun to wrangle a few people up for a chat.‘Wrangle?’ Wow, I really should eat something.


  18. Cargirl- You’re kicking my ass all over the place. I wish I got to study DuBois in high school. Instead, I got to have my first taste whilst in graduate-level snooty college courses like “Modern Critical Theory” and “Visual Culture and Critical Race Theory”. The black girls in that last class HATE ME. DuBois was awesome, though. He said, “I do not give a damn for any art not used as propaganda” which I always thought was a pretty kick ass quote.BTW, it’s W.E.B., not W.B.E. It ruins your BeDaBoy thing, for which I apologize.


  19. <>The Velvet Teen – As much as I want to tell you to duck and cover from the Missus, I understand what you’re saying (and so will she).<>Nope, I cannot understand. Judah Nagler produces magic, in every sense of the word. Whatever album you tried to listen to (probably Cum Laude?), try a different one. Try Elysium…it’s easily one of the most beautiful albums ever recorded. End lecture 🙂


  20. HATHERY- I’ll try. But it’s like when I pretended to like Fall Out Boy even though I thought they sucked. It just might not work out for me. Still, for the sake of trusting your taste, I’ll give them another shot.(P.S., I’m glad you’re so understanding.)CDP- I’ll be in the v-chat fer sure. All you older boys better watch out!Kenny- I had a feeling I was spelling it wrong. If you say it out loud, W.E.B. DuBois still works out. Even better than before, if you think about it. The fact of the matter is that it’s DuBois, who is indeed awesome. Nice quote.I kicked ass at speech team today; I threw down in and Impromptu Speech battle.Just wanted you all to know how awesome I am.


  21. <>You May Be Right<>See…you love him so much you can even come up with an appropriate song title to fit the situation. Will= biggest Billy Joel fan ever.


  22. Urgh……so many comments…MAUS – Jenny Lewis is a red head!? You mean to tell me we can become famous!? I find that somewhat hard to believe after 14 years in a cruel, gingerist world.Top 5 things that everyone you seem to know is able to do except you:1) Whistle2) Cross your eyes3) Play rugby4) Have the courage to punch someone in the face5) Get chicks.Not in order. Or slightly funny…


  23. <>HATHERY- I’ll try. But it’s like when I pretended to like Fall Out Boy even though I thought they sucked. It just might not work out for me. Still, for the sake of trusting your taste, I’ll give them another shot.<>The Velvet Teen is like learning to drink fine wine…you need to acquire a taste for it, but once you do, you can’t get enough. Now that I’ve officially made myself vomit with this metaphor (is it a metaphor?), let me go on the record as agreeing with Cargirl…Fallout Boy DOES suck.


  24. Carrot Duff’s List:1) Drink2) Hire prostitutes3) Smoke4) Gamble5) Buy PornI don’t necessarily want to do any of those, but knowing that I can’t is kinda of depressing.


  25. <>Fallout Boy DOES suck.<>Amen, sistah. I went through a few months of weird tween-y punk-ism when I thought I liked Fall Out Boy, but I soon enough realized they really, <>really<> do suck.


  26. She wishes she were a redhead; she’s not even cool enough to be born with lack of pigment.CARROT – Do you hang around with a lot of hooligans? That’s what it sure sounds like.Don’t try to save me.<>LIVE VIDEO CHAT FROM 5-6PM CENTRAL TIME!<>


  27. I’m British. We’re all hooligans.No not really. It just seems I’m slightly less exciting and risk-takeing than most of them.…But I do have double-jointed thumbs. Win some, loose some.


  28. Hathery – I hate the Billy Joel but I’ve given him a listen. Years of listening in fact…I grew up not far from where he grew up so Billy’s like the patron saint of Long Island musicians, you can’t avoid him…I know all the songs and I hate myself for it.Cooler Musicians with Ties To My Hometown:Lou Reed Sterling MorrisonMaureen TuckerJohn ColtraneEveryone but Billy Joel who ever played a noteNot to mention Pat Benetar. Love is a battlefield bitches.


  29. <>I find that somewhat hard to believe after 14 years in a cruel, gingerist world.<>The US likes redheads. They only drown them at birth in England. Probably because they think they’re Irish.


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