I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You.

There's something in my eye.

Every once in a great while, the stars in the universe seem to line up in such a way that karma and fate smile kindly upon your being, blessing you with the impossible gift of a dream come true. This could come in the form of a job promotion, a new and rewarding relationship, or something as simple as a free latte at Starbucks. Whatever the case, you mustn’t let these moments pass you by.

Personally, my dreams never come true, and it’s probably a good idea that they don’t. If I were to suddenly find myself locked in a room filled with pink cotton candy, miles of plush, down comforters and my beautiful Oral & Interpersonal Speech teacher from college, I’m quite certain I’d act much differently than I do in my sleep. In fact, I think I’d call the cops.

You are the one that I've been dreaming of.
(This is not the price we bought the car for. Ignore that.)

Nope, today’s post is focusing more on the dreams and aspirations of the Missus. About a year-and-a-half ago, her Taurus was totalled in a rear-ending that left her with whiplash, weekly medical visits and no car to drive. For one reason or another, she didn’t find it endearing to have me drive her to work every day. It might have had something to do with my tendancy to sing at peak volume and drum the steering wheel for 22 straight minutes, but that’s for the divorce court to decide.

Sure, she eventually got the fantastic Ford Focus, but she had always felt like she was driving someone elses’ car. She missed having a vehicle with personality; an attachment of herself, in a way. In a perfect world, she’d be able to buy whatever car she wanted, and when it came to fantasy car choices, there was only one that the Missus has ever longed for.

The 2002 Mini Cooper.

One, I'm biting my tongue.
(Contrast White top with a sunroof, comfy back seats and a trunk that you can actually put stuff in.)

The Missus is a MINI lover (hey, who isn’t?), but the 2002 was her model of choice. Mainly, because this was the only year they manufactured it with the color ‘Silk Green.’ The BMW racing sprite boasts a plethora of stylish glosses and fixtures, but Silk Green was the only color she had ever wanted.

When she was bored, the Missus would go onto the official MINI web site and compile her dream car. Silk Green, chrome package, winter package, heated seats, the works. She did this for years, and was prescribed several medications to stop the addiction. I kept trying to explain to her that it was an unhealthy obsession. Nobody ever gets what they want in life. Nobody gets their dream car. Nobody.

Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!
(It’s built like a cross between a tank and a go-kart. The crash safety is through the roof.)

Three weeks ago, we were driving home from the mall, when we saw it. A Mini Cooper with the same date, color and exact packages that the Missus had been pining for all this time. The ‘For Sale’ sign was in the window, and it was parked no less than 200 yards from our house. It was as if the fantasy car that she created online had come to life, drove all the way to CDP Headquarters and plopped itself down in our driveway. We were absolutely shocked.

Less than three days later, it was ours. These moments are fleeting, and must be taken advantage of when they arrive. The mere thought of someone else driving the car that she had created was not an option. They wouldn’t love it like she could. They simply wouldn’t understand.

What can I do?
(Yes, I will be attempting to get it up to 150mph. Don’t even bother trying to stop me.)

We sold the Focus last week, and picked up this bad boy shortly thereafter, all at a price that the Missus was more than willing to afford. The standing agreement is that I get to drive it to work at least three Fridays a month. The pessimist in me is concerned that Karma might be screwing with us; causing the car to break down after two hours of driving. We did our homework, however, and the vehicle is tip-top and immaculately maintained. I couldn’t ask for a 2002 car in better shape.

So, the Missus’ dream has come true, and that’s a wonderful thing. As for my own dreams, I’m still trying to track down my Speech teacher’s phone number.

That pretty much wraps it up. We have a very busy October ahead of us. The Missus is heading to Chicago on Saturday while me and Ben shoot footage for our documentary, we’re all taking the MINI up to Oshkosh on Sunday to visit the EAA, I have a Guitar Hero tournament to attend/win on October 6-7, our Pub Quiz trivia titles must be defended on October 8, a trip to beautiful Door County is calling from October 12-14, me and Ben will be actors in a haunted house on October 18, I’ll be hitting Milwaukee for a concert on October 22, Architecture In Helsinki rocks Madison on the 23rd, follwed by yet another concert in Chicago on the 24th, Guitar Hero III is released on October 28, and this will all culminate with a Halloween party on the 31st and the long-awaited release of the CDP Book. In amongst all of this, I need to record about 20 hours of new television a week and find the time to watch all of it. Unreal.

I don’t how I’ll be able to do everything, but I do know how I’ll be getting there. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

(PS – As far as I’m concerned, the Nationwide Mix-Tape Trade is over. I’m through thinking about it, and I’m moving on with my next project.)

33 thoughts on “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You.

  1. Congrats on the new car! I expect to see the pictures of it heading down the sewers of Madison real soon now.I’m concerned about the National Mix Tape trade being “over”. “Over” as in “I’ve never talking about it again” or “over” as in “Let’s start reviewing tracks”.You see, I’m fascinated by what kinds of music different people listen to. So inquiring minds want to know!


  2. I’m with Mike.Let’s start reviewing tracks.Congrats on the new car! Melissa just got a new one too. I rode in it for the first time last night, but was a bit too drunk to remember much except that the radio had cool lights…I’m a genius.


  3. Oooh, It’s so cute! Coming to Oshkosh? If you have a bit of time while in town let me know! I can introduce you to my heathens (there awfully cute). I could prolly wrangle Miss Carli too. A nice way to make you feel old, high school seems like it was so long ago already 😦


  4. MIKE – I’m going to get into reviewing tracks and mixes now, starting next week. I’ll put everything into a huge post that should go up sometime in early October. If you haven’t gotten a mix to me yet, you might as well forget about it.JT – Beh-heh-heh!Thanks for the kind words about the car. The Missus is happy, therefore I am happy.


  5. DMETREA – Hey, thanks for stopping by! Don’t be a stranger to the CDP! Trust me, I feel pretty old on a daily basis. After my leg injury, I realized my mortality and pretty much have never recovered. 🙂


  6. On Saturday, you can get a car wash while I get an oil change. That’ll be lovely.Why is it that every time I watch an episode of <>The Office<>, I’m certain it’s the funniest one they’ve ever done? Without question, it was the best opening sequence to a comedy show I’ve ever seen.


  7. <>20 Awesome Things About The Office Premiere:<>The intro, of course. Completely over-the-top.Michael coming up with all of the different animal parts for the monster God. It was clearly an ad-lib, and I don’t know how everyone kept going without cracking up.Andy’s chafing nipples, leading to his profuse bleeding towards the end.Michael: “My name is Toby! Look at me I’m stretching! I know what I’m doing. Why is he even here?”All of the hospital scene. Creed wanting to know what painkillers Meridith was on, Michael trying to hug her before being restrained and subsequently pulling out her IV.Creed pretending he was 81 years old so he could win prize money.Darryl feeding the squirrel a peanut.Michael: “You don’t know who I am. You just saw my penis.”Giving the check to the stripper nurse, made out to ‘Science.’Michael carbo-loading on Pasta Alfredo and eventually throwing up. I like how he thought he was getting away with something. Also, Dwight giving Toby Immodium in an attempt to ‘sabotage’ him.Angela hip-checking Dwight into the wall, and the realization that he killed her cat.Creed’s cult: “Members have more fun, but leaders make more money.”Poor, sad Toby: “Look who won, it’s me, Toby Flenderson!”Also from Toby: “Where are we? Why didn’t he make the race a circle?”Michael’s censored junk area.Phyllis’ rabies quilt. Sadly, it one of her only lines of the night.The return of Billy Merchant in the wheelchair.Ryan’s big-shot status. “I don’t remember much about Dunder-Mifflin Scranton. I think I dated a black girl.”Stanley, after Michael broke the news about Meridith to the office: “What is the matter with you? Why’d you have to phrase it that way?”Toby, happily telling everyone that his luck has turned around because Alfredo’s pizza drew his business card out of a fishbowl.Sorry, it had to be written out.


  8. I had much higher expectations for The Office. To me, it just felt, bleh. I liked it but I was mildly disappointed. I love how they handled Jim and Pam (and Kevin). Michael is too over-the-top for me, anymore. It’s still, by far, the best comedy on TV, I’m just hoping for a rebound.


  9. Oh yeah, I believe it was shot slightly different (more sitcom-y), and it’s getting to the point where some of the secondary characters are walking punchlines, but I think they can make it through the season with some decent episodes.Afterwards…well, your guess is as good as mine. But, they haven’t let me down yet, so I’ll be positive.


  10. Totally agree. Every time a new eppy airs I claim it’s the best one of the series. I loved last night’s. Jim and Pam are great. Where can I find a Pam Beasley? And Michael is getting way unbelievable and over the top, but for some reason, that just makes it funnier.


  11. The thing with The Office is that no matter how over-the-top a character gets, the writers always manage to pull them back down to earth when an episode revolves around them. Honestly, Michael and Dwight’s characters have never been <>too<> subtle, but the remainder of the cast is capable of anything.Steve Carell is just…man. That guy is absolutely brilliant. I’m glad he’s rich now, because he deserves it.


  12. It’s definitely getting more over the top, but it was still funny. I think that the “over the top” way is where they’re headed with the show so we’ll probably have to get used to that. If you like the subtlety, you’ll probably have to break out your DVD’s of the UK version. Both ways are fine with me I guess.So anyway…back to my car. I have a Mini Cooper. That’s pretty cool!


  13. Will, you raise a point I was trying to make last night. NBC bought something like <>40<> episodes of <>The Office<> this season, which equals out to at least five one-hour episodes and about 30 normal episodes. This is a <>ton<> of episodes for a network show, and it raises the question of not only oversaturation, but declining quality of content.Will the fans grow sick of the show? Will the writers be scrapping for new storylines? I have a lot of faith in this cast and crew, but it’s a huge task they’re undertaking this year.Also, thanks for the kind words on the car. I’ll call you when something breaks down.


  14. If my car and the Slackmistress’ car get together, who knows what sort of adorable mischief they could get into! Why, it could be a sitcom. I’ll pitch it to CBS.


  15. My DVR decided to be a jackass, so I have about 5 minutes of pure silence with no picture, a few minutes of picture with no audio, and a few minutes of audio with no picture from <>The Office<>.


  16. oh man, We just got back from vacation and what do I find? Nothing saved on my computer.The last thing I did before leaving the house at 4am was to check to see if the computer was on. Unfortunately my “well intentioning” wife did the same thing. She was the last one out of the house.A week of premieres.the horror.<>the horror<>


  17. MINIs rock!! i love them.and i love the office.i love how Dwight wanted to kill Meredith … like he killed Angela’s cat. “Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.”and something about how the energy keeping her alive could power a small fan for two days … classic Dwight.


  18. I think what Missus is searching for in a car is important for people who don’t treat their cars as cars plainly – personality and their attachment to it. You can only and possibly feel one with a car if those two are present. Every car has a distinct personality. And the Mini Cooper has a very adorable one. That would be a great choice for women. And I don’t see her having difficulty developing an attachment to it.

    Erwin Calverley


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