Corn Maze 3: The Revenge Of The Cob.

We All Scream For Cobs.

This weekend, I (along with the Missus, Benjamin & Sherry) headed out to the Treinen Farms Corn Maze for the third time in three years. If you remember from our first venture to Lodi, Wisconsin, a good time was guaranteed to be had by all.

Before venturing into the maze itself, I helped myself to a pumpkin.

Ripe For The Slingshotting.

This was the earliest in the year we had attended the maze, so the crowd was light, the weather was beautiful and the corn was sky-high. For all the work that the Treinen Farm staff puts into their production every year, I certainly hope that they rake in the cash every Autumn. Judging by all of the employees and custom-made t-shirts, I’d venture that they’re doing just fine for themselves.

Rope Tied Down On A Leaky Boat.

Complete with a pumpkin slingshot, multiple hayrides, a funhouse for the kids and animals galore, spending a day at the farm is well worth the $7.50 admission. Having been raised on a dairy farm for my entire childhood, I can assure you that they’re normally not this awesome. In fact, the gift of simply not being a double-amputee was all the thanks I needed for my years of hard work.

The Smallest Things Make Me Angry.

My team is always very businesslike when traversing the maze. We had a plan, we had a mission, and failure wasn’t an option. We agreed upon on a distress call (donkey in heat), did some chest-bumps and we were on our way.

And We'll Be On Our Way.

It was almost not fun. I think we knocked the maze out in record time this year, to the point where Ben and Sherry went back in to retrieve some bonus items off of the beaten trail path. While they bent the Corn Maze over a sawhorse and repeatedly scarred it for life, me and the Missus tried to catch ourselves a free-range chicken, Rocky-style. I attempted to explain that catching a chicken really was impossible, but it didn’t stop her from trying. She slept well that night.

At Midnight, I Turn Back Into An Asshole.

I experienced a huge downer when I discovered that the famed Pumpkin Slingshot was not yet ready for public enjoyment. Having previously gone 1 for 2 in this event, I had been looking forward to the rubber match all week. Every time I closed my eyes, I fantasized about my hand-picked gourd sailing hundreds of feet through the air, but I guess it was all for naught. I shall get my revenge in 2008.

A Storm Is Brewing, Better Stay Awesome.

We’ll be back again, but not soon enough. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your Monday.

21 thoughts on “Corn Maze 3: The Revenge Of The Cob.

  1. This is one of those posts where nobody knows what to say in the comments. I mean, what’s there to say, other than <>“Looks like you had a good time! Durp!”<>I’m working on something for tomorrow/Wednesday that’s going to shake the foundation of the Internet to its very core. It’s one of the most awesome stories I’ve ever had the honor of telling on the <>CDP<>, no fooling.I’ll give you a hint: It’s “By Request Only.”

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