The Final Survey.

Jae Lee gets Own3d.
(Day 3 of ‘All Posts Must Go!’ week continues. Thank you for your patience while I clean out the archives.)

The following survey was in the CDP Inbox last week. Instead of tossing it, like I toss all of my fan mail and 8×10 glossy requests, I filled it out in the hopes of never receiving one again.

Enjoy, I suppose.

Survey: Tell Me Everything!

Full Name – The CDP.
Birthday – February of 1982.
Age – Twenty-Four (far too old for this).
Height – 5’10”.
Weight – 160, pushing for 250.
Hair Color – Blonde; currently dyed ‘Cinnamon Brown.’
Eye Color – A boring shade of Hazel.
Where were you born? – Neenah, Wisconsin.
Do you have siblings? – Yep.
How many? – One.
Their ages? – Nineteen.
Genders? – Female.
Names? – The Sissus.

Your Favorite…

Color – Black; it goes with everything.
Movie – Pulp Fiction.
Book – Johnny Got His Gun, By Dalton Trumbo.
Song – ‘Holiday‘ By Weezer. It changes on a weekly basis, however.
Music Style – Drums, Guitar, Bass and Vocals always does it for me.
Band – No band has done more for rock music than the Beatles. Sorry.
Actor – Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction.
Actress – Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
TV Show – Mystery Science Theater 3000 & The Simpsons.
Animal – The Domestic Cat. Preferrably Siamese.
Food – Pasta Alfredo. Don’t skimp on the Alfredo; I’ve got weight to gain.
Director – Christopher Nolan; I’m seeing The Prestige on Friday.
Author – I’m a fan of the Disinformation collective.
Hobby – Writing about my hobbies.
School Subject – Music Production.
Flavor – Flav’.
Day of the week – Sunday.
Store – I spend way too much money at Best Buy and Express.
Restaurant – Fyfe’s in Madison. I like the Olive Garden, as well.
Sport – Professional Football; College Basketball; Fake Wrestling.
Cartoon Character – Hank Scorpio.
Perfume/Cologne – Swiss Army.
Word – Cacophony.
Candy – Krackel.
Shape – The Right Angle.
Pizza Topping – Spinach & Mushrooms.
Clothing Brand – Express, OBEY.
Shoe Brand – Skechers have been good to me recently. I used to wear Airwalk.
Teacher – Mrs. Broderick; Kindergarten.
Instrument – Percussion is the only real instrument.
Number – Zero. It goes with everything.
Car – MINI Cooper.
Month – October.
Season – Autumn. It’s the most emo of seasons.
Theme – Hawaii 5.0. I’m not sure this was the question, but I’m going with it.
Holiday – Halloween; it’s a holiday, turd.
Letter – W, because it’s the only three-syllable letter.
Magazine – Entertainment Weekly, I guess. I don’t read many magazines.
State – Wisconsin is the best state in the nation.
Country – Canada or England.
City – Madison, Wisconsin. I’m living the dream.
Dessert – Ben & Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream.
Sports Team – Packers, Red Sox & Kentucky Wildcats. It’s been a rough year.
Place to Hang – My house. It contains everything I own.


Do you look for in a guy/girl? – Humor, good grammar, intelligence.
School do you attend? – I haven’t attended school since January of 2004.
Qualities should your friends have? – They should make me less of an ass.
Is your earliest memory? – My Dad throwing up while changing my diaper.
Best memory? – The first time I smooched the Missus.
Worst memory? – I block bad memories from my psyche. Who are you, again?
Do in your spare time? – TV, music, writing, reading, eating grilled cheese. The usual.
Is/are your pet peeve(s)? – Driving whilst on the phone; the human race in general.
Do you like to learn about? – Science, Biographies, Psychology, How people work.
Do you Treasure most? – The Missus. Or my CD collection.
Do you Miss the most? – Unemployment.


Looks matter to you? – Not really, unless they’re required for the position.
You get jealous easy? – Not anymore. I’m secure with being a complete failure.
You have a short temper? – I’ll kill you! I’ll kill all of you!
You enjoy music, theatre, culture? – Most of it. Perhaps not as much as I should.
You like to cook? – I love to cook, but I suck at it.
Can you cook? – Not at all. I should take a class or something.
You have bad habits? – Hundreds. Maybe millions.
What are they? – Typical OCD-related behavior. I’ve spell-checked this thing 29 times.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? – I have a wife. It’s like having a girlfriend with money.
How many b/f or g/f’s have you had in your life? – Maybe a half-dozen. Not too many.
What’s your longest relationship? – The Missus; almost seven years and counting.

Which do you prefer?

Black or White? – Color-wise or people-wise? I’m too afraid to answer.
Action or Comedy? – Good comedy always beats good action. It’s much harder to do.
Fantasy or Non-fiction? – Non-fiction, all the damn way.
Fruits or veggies? – Veggies. I have scurvy.
Pop or juice? – Pop? You must be from Wisconsin. Where’s the bubbler?
Pie or cake? – Pie-flavored cake.
Mountains or beach? – The Beach, although I cannot swim.
Country or city? – I prefer to work in the city and live in the country for now.
Classical or rock? – Rawk.
Rap or hip-hop? – Crunk.
Movies or books? – Books. Movies have really bored me lately.
Winter or summer? – Winter.
Spring or fall? – Fall.
Math or English? – Math; English has no rules. It’s impossible, even though I’m skilled at it.


Do you believe in true love? – I don’t know, but I definitely believe in false love.
Is love magical? – If you’re married to Lance Burton, then certainly.
Can love last forever? – Absolutely, provided you’re immortal.
Is fighting good for a relationship? – It depends on if it causes healthy progress or not.
Do you believe in love at first sight? – I believe in infatuation that turns into love, so yes.
Have you ever been in love? – Yep.
Are you in love now? – Yep.
Would you do anything for the one you love? – Nope. I’ll shave when I want to.

Your Perfect…

Date – June 19, 2004. That was a great date.
Night out – Dinner, dessert, drinks and a designated driver.
Day – Waking up in a foreign hotel with the Missus and a trillion dollar bill.
Love – I don’t understand the question.
House – Something so minimalist that I can’t even get inside.
Dream – That one where I’m on the Japanese game show with Sara Rue.
Describe your personality as best you can – People-alienating; difficult.
Describe your love’s personality as best you can – Unwavering and dependable.

Never send me these again; but please do send fan mail and 8×10 glossy requests to Thank you for your patronage; I’ll see you tomorrow.

14 thoughts on “The Final Survey.

  1. They’re all true. It’s sad stuff.On an unrelated note, I’ll be attending a CPR certification class tomorrow. It’s all part of my quest to have a wallet full of certification cards.(Tax Exempt, Ordained Reverend, CPR Certified, Communist, Porn Star, etc.)


  2. Based on your prior work, I expected more from you with this one. Plenty of softballs thrown your way and you answered some of them with polite, serious answer. Shame on you CDP. Shame on you.Keep up the good work, though. 🙂


  3. Truth be told, I went the honest route on this one. I could have <>(should have)<> torn this survey apart with my trademark wit, but I decided to be nice for a change.Never again!


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