My Toronto checklist is almost completely finished. Come Friday evening, me and the Missus will be fully prepared and ready to leave the country. The bills are paid, the checkbook is balanced, the goods are almost packed and the identification has been filed. The itinerary is all planned out, the directions have been printed and checked, the camera has a new memory card and CD’s are being carefully selected. The cats have been assigned a nanny so they don’t starve. I’m getting someone to tape “Lost” while I’m gone. I’m ready to roll.
This week of work has been nothing short of a crawl. Employers use the week before a vacation to spring all sorts of new stuff on you, because they know you’ll be in a gruntled mood. They figure you won’t shoot the place up just hours before you set sail.
Well, they’ve never met me.
I’m just joking (for legal reasons), but it does frustrate me a bit. I’d talk more about my job and whatnot, but I’ve seen people get fired for saying a lot less than what I say, so I’m zipping my lip until I get fired for other reasons (it’s unavoidable and really only a matter of time).
Moving on, I want you all to take care of the CDP while I’m away. Make sure you lock the door behind you, keep the carpets clean, remove your shoes and help yourself to anything in the fridge. I think there’s some honey mustard and cheese spread in there, so dig in before it expires. I’ll be back before you know it with hundreds of pictures and a handful of stories, provided I don’t get arrested or deported early. I’m planning on putting up all of the pictures in an external photo album, to eliminate lag time and make things easier to access. That being said, we’ll see how much ambition I have once I return.
When we get back, we have an appointment with the fine thieves and shameless hucksters over at Charter Communications to install our new DVR. I’m sick of giving them my money, but it’s only an extra ten bucks a month, and I can tape things while I’m watching other things. I’m sold.
My latest album review will be all sparkly and pretty looking in next week’s Core Weekly. Check it ‘oot. See, I’m learning the language already.
Share well-wishes and somber hugs in the comment section. Talk amongst yourselves until I return. I don’t want my spectacular hit count dropping just because there won’t be any new material for a week. Don’t make me come back home sad. If I were you, I’d use this time to browse the 16+ months of archives to catch up on all the hilarious and uplifting things I’ve said over the years.