Walk Toward The Light.

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(Best ghost photograph ever.)

Near-Death Experience Mix
Submitted By: LetsEatPaste
Compiled By: The CDP

(I swear these keep getting longer and longer. I put them in quasi-alphabetical order because I’m lazy, and there’s 2 disks worth. Keep the ideas coming, though. Send mixtape suggestions to communistdance@yahoo.com, yo.)

DISK 1
#1 – Against All Authority – “Destroy What Destroys You” – Destroy What Destroys You
#2 – Algebra One – “Crime Wave to Your Heart” – The Keep Tryst E.P.
#3 – Andrew W.K. – “Ready To Die” – I Get Wet
#4 – Ash – “Angel Interceptor” – 1977
#5 – At The Drive In – “Chanbara” – In/Casino/Out
#6 – Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution – “It’s a Wonderful Life” – A Call to Arms
#7 – Beep Beep – “I am the Secretary” – Business Casual
#8 – Ben Folds Five – “Eddie Walker” – Naked Baby Photos
#9 – Bis – “Dead Wrestlers” – Music for a Stranger World
#10 – Cake – “Sheep go to Heaven” – Prolonging the Magic
#11 – Catch 22 – “As the Footsteps Die Out Forever” – Keasbey Nights
#12 – Children of Bodom – “Follow the Reaper” – Follow the Reaper
#13 – Coheed & Cambria – “Blood Red Summer” – In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3
#14 – Communique – “Ouija Me” – Poison Arrows
#15 – Death From Above 1979 – “Romantic Rights” – You’re a Woman, I’m a Machine
#16 – Five O’clock Charlie – “Suicide Is Painless” – Not Enough Time
#17 – Further Seems Forever – “The Moon Is Down” – The Moon Is Down
#18 – Goldfinger – “Open Your Eyes” – Open Your Eyes
#19 – Hot Stove Jimmy – “Put Some Water on it” – Theme for a Major Hit
#20 – IfIHadAHiFi – “The All Tied Up” – Ones and Zeros

DISK 2
#1 – Jawbreaker – “Accident Prone” – Dear You
#2 – Liars – “Grown Men Don’t Fall in the River Just Like That” – Fins to Make Us More Fish-Like
#3 – Liberator – “Kick De’ Bucket” – Worldwide Delivery
#4 – Muse – “Time is Running Out” – Absolution
#5 – Nerf Herder – “5000 Ways to Die” – How to Meet Girls
#6 – NOFX – “We Threw Gasoline on the Fire & Now We Have Stumps for Arms & No Eyebrows” – Punk-O-Rama 3
#7 – Q and not U – “Hooray for Humans” – No Kill No Beep Beep
#8 – Rage Against the Machine – “Killing in the Name of” – Rage Against the Machine
#9 – Saves the Day – “As Your Ghost Takes Flight” – Stay What You Are
#10 – Streetlight Manifesto – “A Better Place, A Better Time” – Everything Goes Numb
#11 – Strung Out – “The Exhumation of Virginia Madison” – Twisted By Design
#12 – The Aeffect – “Burning in the Bed on Fire” – Secrets & Lies
#13 – The Decemberists – “We both go Down Together” – Picaresque
#14 – The Faint – “Birth” – Wet from Birth
#15 – The Impossibles – “Disintegration is the Best Album Ever” – Brick Bomb
#16 – The Misfits – “Last Caress” – Collection II
#17 – The Pixies – “Wave of Mutilation” – Death to the Pixies
#18 – The Shins – “So Says I” – Chutes Too Narrow
#19 – The Smiths – “Girlfriend in a Coma” – Strangeways, Here we Come
#20 – They Might Be Giants – “Older” – Dial A Song: 20 Years of They Might Be Giants

Enjoy your shortened work week. I have nothing to do at work, nothing to do at home, and nothing to do this weekend. I will use this time to play hundreds of rounds of PGA Tour Golf on my dusty Sega Genesis. You can find another of my album reviews in last week’s Core Weekly, and probably a brand-spanking new one in the newest issue this Thursday. In the meantime, I’ll be previewing the CD I just picked up this evening for a future review. Hey Core Weekly, where’s my check? I’m working my ass off, here!

Well, it’s 9pm. I think I’ll eat some Ben & Jerry’s and go to bed. My Conservative Christian relatives were right, I really am living in sin down here in Madison.

Uderbraten.

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Who says there’s nothing to do in Wisconsin?

The CDP’s 2nd Annual New Glarus Day went spectacularly well. Here is the day in pictures. It’s a bit photo-intensive, so you may want to consider upgrading to a cable connection to fully enjoy your New Glarus CDP experience. If you would like to see what happened the last time we were there, this post should get you all caught up.

Our first stop was for mini-golf.

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I won, but not by much. The goats that were roaming the grounds last year were sadly absent this time around. The sun broke free from the overcast clouds, and the warm breeze guided us straight to the world famous New Glarus Brewery.

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Neither of us had ever been there before, so we decided to take an audio tour. They give you these telephone-looking things to take with you, along with a ceramic cow.

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The brewery was ultra-modern, ultra-expensive, and quite beautiful.

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Out of all the neat things they show you on the tour, the funniest thing that I saw was this note that someone left behind. I think it really says it all.

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This was all I needed to see. I bought a 4-pack of Raspberry Tart Beer and headed for the door.

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After all that looking, talking and hearing about beer, we needed a break. So we did some wine tasting at the Primrose Winery.

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After about 9 sips, we both picked our favorite bottle, had them wrapped up and hit the streets again.

There are plenty of knick-knack shops for your spending pleasure that indulge in the Swiss lifestyle. One of these parts of the culture happens to be trolls. Frankly, they scare the holy hell out of me, but I guess some people find them culturally significant.

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No thank you. On the other hand, I did see a 4-foot tall stein that was worth a little under a thousand dollars.

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And who can forget this wonderful album from the old country?

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Our next stop was the New Glarus Hotel, for the single largest consumption of cheese ever recorded for a human being. I must have downed nine pounds of cheese, weather it be from the assorted plate they give you, or from the grilled cheese sandwich that contained an entire brick of Swiss. I have yet to go to the bathroom, but it was pretty much worth it.

All in all, this trip to New Glarus was just as good as the first one. It should also be mentioned that I found an old-school metal Pac-Man lunchbox, so I would have been happy no matter what.

We’re going to Green Bay tomorrow. When I come back, I’ll have a new mixtape up along with more of the same. For now, I’ve got some local brew to consume.

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Vaarwel!

A Little Off The Top.

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(Photo taken at 6:45am today.)

For the billionth time, I’m heading out this weekend (like most of you, I’m sure). I’ll be back on Monday with pictures, stories and life lessons. But first, I have a few things to share with you before I hit the dusty trail.

Are you heading to Canada soon? Are you looking for that perfect mixtape to take with you? Look no further! Here’s a double-disk for your punk ass.

(In compiling this mixtape, I took into consideration the idea of spending 10 hours in a car with old friends, getting caught up in things along the way, a few Canadian bands and a big heaping of nostalgia. The drive is always half the fun, so enjoy.)

Road Trip To Toronto Mix
Submitted By: Sherry
Compiled By: The CDP

DISK 1
#1 – “Oh Canada” – Five Iron Frenzy – Our Newest Album Ever!
#2 – “Going Somewhere” – My Superhero – Solid State 14
#3 – “King of the Road” – Piebald – We Are the Only Friends We Have
#4 – “Isn’t It Nice?” – Of Montreal – Aldhils Arboretum
#5 – “No Cars Go” – The Arcade Fire – The Arcade Fire
#6 – “You Vandal” – Saves the Day – Through Being Cool
#7 – “Across the Sea” – Weezer – Pinkerton
#8 – “Waffle House is not a Home” – The Gadjits – Today Is My Day
#9 – “16 Military Wives” – The Decemberists – Picaresque
#10 – “New York City” – They Might Be Giants – Factory Showroom
#11 – “1000 Miles per Hour” – OKGO – OKGO
#12 – “Connecticut” – The Impossibles – Return
#13 – “Happy Kid” – Nada Surf – Let Go
#14 – “Stay with Me” – Finch – What It Is To Burn
#15 – “Oh Canada” (LIVE) – Five Iron Frenzy – The End Is Here

DISK 2
#1 – “Leaving” – Catch 22 – Washed Up!
#2 – “Traffic Tickets” – The Gadjits – At Ease
#3 – “Go” – Mustard Plug – Evildoers Beware!
#4 – “Watermark” – The Weakerthans – Left and Leaving
#5 – “Diagnosis” – The Weakerthans – Fallow
#6 – “Reconstruction Site” – The Weakerthans – Reconstruction Site
#7 – “Our Retired Explorer” – The Weakerthans – Reconstruction Site
#8 – “Gone” – Showoff – Showoff
#9 – “Last One Out Of Liberty City” – Less Than Jake – Hello Rockview
#10 – “Five State Drive” – Less Than Jake – Hello Rockview
#11 – “Look What Happened” – Less Than Jake – Anthem
#12 – “Magnetic North” – Less Than Jake – Borders and Boundaries
#13 – “Rock & Roll Pizzeria” – Less Than Jake – Losing Streak
#14 – “One Last Cigarette” – Less Than Jake – Pezcore
#15 – “In The Aeroplane over the Sea” – Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

(If the second disk wasn’t obvious enough, Less Than Jake & Canada’s very own The Weakerthans offer perfect non-mix travel music. My favorite non-mix album for driving long distances is “Hello Rockview”, by Less Than Jake.)

Keep the mixtape ideas coming. Either post a comment or send an e-mail to communistdance@yahoo.com. Next up is the “Near-Death Experience Mix”.

Well, I’m off. We’ll talk again in a couple days, I promise. I feel like there’s something I’m forgetting to tell you, but I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually.

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(Photo taken at 6:30pm today.)

Later!

E=MC Hammer.

I was almost killed on the way to work today. Allow me to set the scene.

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Well, not quite, but scary nonetheless.

I was approaching an intersection, and I had a green light. Less than a half-second before I crossed the intersection, a large, white Escalade completely ran the red light at about 45mph. He ran the light from my left to right, meaning that had I left for work 1 second earlier, he would have perfectly T-boned my car on the driver’s side, hopefully killing me instantly. It’s one of the closest times I’ve been in a huge automobile accident, minus all those minor accidents I’ve had since 1998.

I’ve been trying to shake off lingering death all day. It was really something, believe me. Not only that, but when the Escalade whizzed by me, the driver clearly had both of his hands off the wheel. Had he not murdered or paralyzed me, I would have crawled out of the wreckage and killed him myself.

Moving on, I was forced to attend a training seminar today concerning a state agency-wide e-mail consolidation/migration program. Basically, it involves a new Oracle-based server that will enable users to jrewi ewj 3240 jijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-

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Excuse me, I just passed out for a second there. It was a complete waste of my time, and most of it went completely over my head. On the positive side, during a break between seminars, I got to experience what it sounds like when 15 people eat apples simultaneously in a silent conference room. I’ve never heard anything like it before, and it was really hilarious. Whatever you imagine it sounding like, I promise you that it’s funnier in real life.

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Here’s a couple mixtapes for you to enjoy, courtesy of your friends at the cdp:

Rainy Day Mix
Submitted By: Aaron
Compiled By: The CDP

#1 – Longwave – “Wake Me When It’s Over” – The Strangest Things
#2 – The Postal Service – “Sleeping In” – Give Up
#3 – Ben Folds Five – “Don’t Change Your Plans” – The Unauthorized Autobiography Of Reinhold Messner
#4 – Polysics – “Black Out, Fall Out” – Neu!
#5 – Jawbreaker – “Accident Prone” – Dear You
#6 – Minus The Bear – “Monkey!!! Knife!!! Fight!!!” – Highly Refined Pirates
#7 – Beck – “Jackass” – Odelay
#8 – Modest Mouse – “Ocean Breathes Salty” – Good News For People Who Love Bad News
#9 – Travis – “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?” – The Man Who
#10 – Death Cab For Cutie – “A Lack Of Color” – Transatlanticism
#11 – The Smiths – “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” – The Queen Is Dead

(As a side note, my favorite non-mix album for rainy days is “I’m Sorry I’m Leaving”, By Saves The Day.)

Post-Snowstorm Sunrise Mix
Submitted By: Aaron
Compiled By: The CDP

#1 – The Arcade Fire – “Wake Up” – Funeral
#2 – Big Big Furnace – “A Midwestern Winter” – Soundtrack To A Midwestern Winter
#3 – Communique – “Evaporate” – Poison Arrows
#4 – Bright Eyes – “If Winter Ends” – Letting Off The Happiness
#5 – Ted Leo – “Under The Hedge” – The Tyranny Of Distance
#6 – Of Montreal – “So Begins Our Alabee”- The Sunlandic Twins
#7 – Counting Crows – “Round Here” – August And Everything After
#8 – Snow Patrol – “How To Be Dead” – Final Straw
#9 – The Promise Ring – “Become One Anything One Time” – Wood/Water
#10 – Weezer – “Holiday” – Weezer
#11 – Bright Eyes – “First Day Of My Life” – I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning

(As another side note, my favorite non-mix album for post-snowstorm sunrises is “Soundtrack To A Midwestern Winter”, By Big Big Furnace.)

So, there you go. I’m working on another mixtape that will be posted the next time we chat with each other. Keep the ideas coming, and e-mail me at communistdance@yahoo.com!

You already know what I’m doing this weekend. Expect a lot of pictures of me interacting with the little Swiss community. A special thanks for making this month the biggest month yet here at the CDP. We had a record-breaking 2,200 hits this month, bringing our grand total to almost 20,000. Thanks for coming, I’m an egotistical basket case.

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I’m Your Only Friend, I’m Not Your Only Friend.

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Hey! It’s been a few days, hasn’t it? Well, you haven’t missed all that much. Me and the Missus have been relaxing for the last 5 days, and we’re looking forward to enjoying our 3-day weekend. On Saturday, we head back to New Glarus to indulge ourselves in all things Swiss. On Sunday, we head up to Green Bay to spend more quality time with Ben & Sherry. On Monday, we will no doubt be watching some parade coast down Main Street. I almost can’t wait, and you’ll get a full review and photos once the unbearable excitement finally quiets down.

Did you vote for Bo? You didn’t? Well, screw you. Let the terrorists win, see if I care. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to shut down Boycott Unity for good, and focus more of my time on reality shows and girlie drinks. I traded my books and research for an IPod and a Game Boy Advance, and it has made all the difference. Once you join the quiet ranks of the status quo, nobody’s telling you to shut up anymore. My brain is placid now, silently nursing the spinal fluid from the back of my neck. Soon I won’t feel a thing. By the time the US invades Iran, I won’t even realize that Jeb Bush was elected President.

Moving on to much more important things, I have a copy of The Adventures of Pete & Pete: Season One reserved for me at the local Best Buy. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this groundbreaking show to be officially released, and if you’re not familiar with it, you should. If you like Arrested Development, Freaks & Geeks, Angus, The Wonder Years and all things indie rock in the early 1990’s, this show is vital to your existence. Still one of the greatest television shows of all time in my humble, television-loving opinion.

Secondly, I received this wonderful piece of Spam in my inbox some time ago. It’s fantastic, and I wanted to share it with you. I haven’t omitted or added anything to it. Enjoy!

Subject: Where did Ryan go?

In the middle of the night, I was walking by the sea, and baby baluga jumped out from amongst the bushes. SO one day Mr. Gregor exclaimed “Why do skater normals have no preppy either?!?!?!” So I wanted to watched. or Maybe if I wanted to watch it then I had a dream that countless historian lost their credit but i dont Remember what it was. I don’t like you but can I have your autograph. No one wants your autograph so I started to cry in the pizza shop. Where did Ryan go? He must have moved to Ohio.

Remember, someone had to have typed that. I’m going to write a song based on that story someday, you can bet your ass.

Finally this evening, I have yet another idea to promote visitor participation with me. In the past, these ideas have really hit the ground hard. I tried the cartoon thing, nobody liked it. I wanted people to submit ideas to Boycott Unity, people didn’t follow me over. Even the eyeball thing was like pulling teeth. So why do I continue to try to get you to play along with me? Beats me, maybe I like failure. Nevertheless, I have another idea to try to fill up my inbox.

Stealing an already existing idea from the fine people at Tiny Mix Tapes, I am offering my services as a Human Mixtape Generator!

The idea is simple. You e-mail me (communistdance@yahoo.com) an idea for a mixtape (or just post a comment). You give me the subject, the idea, the setting, whatever you want, and I’ll shape a mixtape around it. I won’t actually make the tape, I’ll just post the track listing as a suggestion. If your looking for examples, go here. It’ll be fun, I promise. In honor of our pal Andrew getting his car broken into and his CD’s stolen, this first mixtape is dedicated to him, free of charge.

Mixtape for having your car broken into, and all your CD’s stolen.”

#1 – “I am Downright Amazed at What I Can Destroy With Just a Hammer” By: Atom & His Package
#2 – “In the Backseat” By: The Arcade Fire
#3 – “Five State Drive” By: Less Than Jake
#4 – “Nothin” By: ALL
#5 – “Sick and Sad” By: Catch-22
#6 – “Boys Don’t Cry” By: The Cure
#7 – “Title and Registration” By: Death Cab For Cutie
#8 – “What Happened to My Radio?” By: Buck-O-Nine
#9 – “Long Line Of Cars” By: Cake
#10 – “Blue Comb ’78” By: Five Iron Frenzy
#11 – “Someday Driver” By: The Gadjits
#12 – “Take Our Cars Now!” By: Saves The Day
#13 – “Radio Radio” By: Elvis Costello
#14 – “My Car Makes Me Sin” By: Silage

There you go, hopefully more will be on the way. Have a good one.

I Could Beat Shaq At "HORSE".

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Last weekend, I and the Missus went back to our hometown to visit some friends. After spending that Saturday night on the floor of my Grandmother’s newly-renovated family room, my Mother decided to take us to the mall to get me some new clothes.

I’d like you to think that I live comfortably. Don’t get me wrong, we live paycheck-to-paycheck and my student loans cost me hundreds every month, but we’re not starving and we haven’t had to sell the cats for crack just yet. One just has to make some sacrifices to sustain your ways of life. Trim the fat, if you will. One of the ways that we do this is by never buying clothes. Me and Celia basically wear the same crap that we had when we got out of High School. It’s not like we want to, it’s just that we have to pay for seemingly more important things first (like that sculpture in my bathroom that lactates Kaluha). When it comes to expenses, new clothing takes a back seat to everything.

This is where my Mother comes in. I by no means attempt to take advantage of her, I just know for a fact that she wants me to always look like a millionaire. When I was growing up, we had little to no money whatsoever. I grew up on a farm, and my Dad probably made less money than I do right now, working in a mailroom 40 hours a week. You wouldn’t have known by looking at me, though. Weather or not it’s sad to cover up ones’ monetary shortcomings with fancy clothes isn’t the topic of conversation right now. What matters is that my Mother always likes to see me in a new shirt.

So, needless to say, we were off to the mall in a heartbeat. I was most excited about picking up a new, Simon Cowell-esque black t-shirt. All of mine were starting to fade and gather inoperable amounts of cat hair, so that was my top priority for the day. I also needed some new khakis for work, because I’ve worn the same pair for the last year straight, Mondays thru Thursdays (Friday is casual day!).

Now, it should be mentioned that I don’t like the mall. I don’t like the large amounts of people, because they make me claustrophobic, and then I start swinging my pocket knife at everyone. I don’t like the crowds of kids that congregate at the Food Court and never buy anything. I’m just trying to get my Julius Smoothie and hit the road, and some kid who’s barely visible through his massive sea of giant, baggy clothes is in my way and not moving. Hey kid, 1997 called and they want their raver pants back.

What also upsets me are the size options. 90% of all women’s stores have sizes so embarrassingly small that only a fetus with a charge card could shop there. Meanwhile, they assume that every man on the planet is 9 feet tall and weighs 1400 pounds. The only places I can find a small shirt are Target, the Gap & Old Navy (I also refuse to shop at Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle and Hot Topic. I’m aware that they’re all more or less owned by the same conglomerate, but it’s the principle of the thing. Not to mention, I refuse to wear anything with writing on it, because I’m not a Goddamn billboard. This pretty much nixes out every other store in existence. I’m a picky shopper.) If you were to see me on the street, you’d see me in jeans and a plain t-shirt or festive sweater, no exceptions. The deck is stacked against me finding anything that I’ll ever be happy with.

Walking back into the hometowne mall that I basically grew up in is always unnerving. I’m always afraid that I’ll run into someone that I used to know, and don’t want to continue to know. This usually happens 3-9 times on every occasion. I also used to dread going to the mall with my Mother, for fear that my friends would see me and think that I’m not allowed to go anywhere by myself. Nowadays, it’s completely different. When you’re over 17 years old and your Mom wants to buy you some pants, you let her buy you some damn pants.

The day went well, I got everything I needed and made off like a bandit. My Grandmother even ironed my new slacks before I headed home to Sun Prairie. Fantastic!

This weekend, we plan to take it easy and take care of some stuff around the house (nothing whatsoever). I’ll also be working on another album review for Core Weekly that’s due on Sunday. I’m reviewing the new Sublime Tribute Album. If you live outside of Madison and won’t be able to pick up that particular copy of Core Weekly, here’s a sneak peek: It sucks!

Later, kids. The Suns are playing the Mavericks in Game 6. Keep sounding off in the comments section. It’s where all the cool people congregate, like an online Orange Julius.