I’m Justin Perkins, and I approved this message.
I’m a busy man. I’ve got a movie to shoot, a full time job, and a wedding that I have to stand in pretty soon. (Although I can’t remember who’s getting married) But I still have enough time during the day to show up here to make sure this page is presentable and offer myself to the masses.
SO WHY AREN’T YOU?!?
Is it the weather? The new layout? The undenying fact that I’m no longer funny now that I’m employed? What could it possibly be?
I’m a human God-damn being here! I’ve got a lot of things on my plate to take care of, and I can’t be expected to bring my “A” game day after thankless day, without so much as a “Hey, good job man!”, or a “Wow, that was radical!” I’m only one man! I…need…support!!!
All right, I’m sorry. I’ve gotta calm down here. It’s not your fault. You’ve got things to do, too. Jobs to attend, tans to achieve, plasmas to donate. We’re all busy, and I can’t expect you to be here for me whenever I need you.
Being the good businessman that I am, I know what to do in a situation like this… another total format change! So the next time you come back here, expect something different from the usual talk. I’ll bring something different to the potluck dinner, as long as you promise to bring your little plastic sporks and foons. You deserve it. I’m keeping the format because I like it, but it’ll be a different experience, I promise.
Have a great day!