I’m officially one step closer to working for the Madison Police Department. As I mentioned earlier, I was an applicant for the job of File Clerk. This would make me responsible for archiving, managing and sometimes retrieving any and all evidence confiscated by the MPD. This includes guns, drugs, bikes, cars and bodily fluids (swear to God, it said so in the description). I’d get to put my OCD to good use and keep perfect track of dangerous things, and sometimes I’d get to drive the police car to get stuff they needed. Holy shit, indeed. And the best part would be the sweet, sweet cash. And the feeling of making a difference in the state Capitol. And the cash.
As you can see, I’m mentally and visually prepared for the task:
Now, you and I both know that I’m dangerously underqualified to do something like this. The very notion of the City of Madison trusting me with all this stuff is not only laughable, but frightening. But, believe it or not, I’m still in the running. I’ll probably fall just short of the mark, as was the case with my Library position, but you just never know. My test results were great, and I typed twice as fast as the requirement. As Sherry once said, “Most normal people are stupid”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Here’s a picture of Sherry with her older brother, Ben.
I mean, honestly, have you ever seen 2 people who looked so much alike that were actually sleeping with each other? It’s weird! I kid those 2. But when I’m working for the MPD, I’m going to turn em’ in. That kinda bidness don’t fly here in Wisconsin. Take your forbidden love to Texas.
I’ll keep you posted on the job. Until then, I’ve got to get back to work on a project I’m doing for my sister. She manages the Winneconne High School basketball team, and she wanted me to make a season highlight reel for them. This is all fine and good, but it takes forever, and it’s destroying the speed of Artie, my computer. (The Strongest Computer…In The World!)
Because I’m not charging her the scale tape-editing fee of $50 an hour, I’m going to post a picture of her in a neon wig.
Now we’re even.