Ulcers Be Damned!

So, I went to the Doctor today to see what he could make of the crippling stomach pain that has since replaced the tolerable heartburn I used to have. (What a long sentence! And grammatically correct, too!) After some poking and prodding at my tummy, and some uncomfortable talk about stools, the verdict was constipation.

Yeah, it’s not a pretty thing to have. And it’s not very fun to talk about, but I’ll allow myself to be the trendsetter here. Plain and simple, I need to change my diet, because the train just isn’t leaving the station anymore. This is not an attractive thing for a 22 year old man to have. And a relatively healthy one at that. The pessimist in me knew it was going to be an ulcer, so I was pleasantly surprised. Gas I can handle, but stress-related stomach holes? That’s another story.

You know what? I’m not going to share any more details of this with you.

Moving on, a guy from Eau Claire won $100,000 on Super Millionaire last night. Good for him! He had a great attitude and appreciated the cash. If I see one more already-wealthy lawyer in that “hot seat”, I’m going to climb the nearest Clock Tower and start shooting.

Well, I’m off to ingest a large helping of fiber.

One thought on “Ulcers Be Damned!

  1. New reader of your blog – must say, thoroughly enjoyable.

    Anyway, I concur constipation is no laughing matter. Being taken to the hospital and getting x-rays to determine that the stomach pains were the result of being backed up was not funny (except in hindsight – it's funny now). 10 years later, metamucil capsules are still a part of my daily diet. Awesome.


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